Saturday, January 24, 2009

Three fundamental Flaws in Utah Dating

A few days ago Mr Nathan Bagley, a fellow PR student and successful blogger, showed me a blog entitled "Why Mormon Girls Stay Single." The blog is somewhat lighthearted, mostly poking fun at the complexity and unspoken standards that make up the world of LDS dating. On the other hand, however, it does bring up some very valid problems with the current dating scene. Problems that turn dating- an experience that should be a mutually fun experience for two people- into a sticky, un-fun ball of hassle.

I started thinking about some of the things that I dislike most about the process of finding a member of the opposite sex to mate for life with and came up with three big flaws. All of these problems are mostly relevant towards the first date but can surface at other times too. So here we go:
  1. Originality: Not only for dating in Utah but included in the entire Mormon dating scene is some unwritten law that says dates must be very original- something that has never been done before. If the girl isn't treated to a bold new idea that the guy spent hours coming up with then the date hasn't crashed and burned- it hasn't even taken off the ground. The days are long gone when a movie, dinner, or both was a fun way to get to know someone. I love movies. I love going out to eat. And to me, killing two birds with one stone is usually the way to go; but not if the stone is the date and the birds are the girl's hopes for skydiving, Color Me Mine, or svitzing...(I don't know what that is).
  2. Notification: Apparently to date a girl in Utah you must give her at least one week notice prior to the actual date itself. Why? Why is it that I can't call up a girl the day of and say "Hey, would you like to go svitzing tonight?" With the exception of high school dances, the last minute dates are the only dates I have ever known. I don't know what the hell I am doing in one week. Most of the time I don't even know what I am doing in one night. I don't enjoy feeling like I have to schedule an appointment with a secretary to get to know someone. Seriously girls, take the last minute date cause that is what 93% of guys will ask for. (Yes, I did have some inspiration for "Why Mormon Girls Stay Single" on this one.)
  3. Girls Asking Guys: Girls are always complaining about why guys won't ask them out or how they haven't been on a date for days and days. There is a simple solution to this: take matters into your own smaller, feminine hands and ask a guy out. There is no law, nor has one ever existed for that matter, that says a guy has to do all of the asking. In fact, many guys get 100% burnt out of asking girls and this is why you don't get your dating canteen filled. Girls, if you are interested in a guy, GO FOR IT! Ask him out. I promise you that showing some backbone like that will get you much further with someone your interested in than whining about how you never get asked out.
So there you have it. Three fundamental flaws in Utah dating. I am confident that if every girl in Utah read my blog the dating scene would change drastically for the better. But I know that won't happen and only about half of the girls in Utah will read this. Either way, if you don't like what was said let me know through a comment or a thrown brick. If you love it, just let me know through a comment.

Chad

P.S. Svitzing

12 comments:

Britton said...

You know how I always tell you that I agree with part of your post and then argue about the rest?

Let it be known that today was the day I agreed 317% with everything you said.

And before Blakely or Chris get on here to disagree with your point about girls asking out guys, let me just take this opportunity to say that they're wrong.

Thank you for your awesomeness.

Melissa Connor said...

I liked the post. While many girls might complain about guys that don't ask, I kind of find it empowering. We don't have to hang around waiting for a guy to call us, we can call him. Gone are the days when a guy called up a girl a week in advance so she would have time to get her poodle skirt cleaned and hair done. For all the girls that wait around out there I have one thing to say: put on your big girl pants and ask the guy out because chances are he didn't even know you were interested in the first place. In the age of Sandra Day O'Connor, Oprah, and Angelina Jolie I think we can grow a backbone and ask a guy out.

Go America.

Tyson Call said...

Don't worry Chad, someday your prince will come ;)

I love your posts Chad,they are like a hedgehog rolled up inside a bottle rocket seconds after it has been lit. Yeah.

And to Melissa's comment about America may I humbly add "F yeah". Cuz freedom costs a buck o' five.

Michelle said...

What is svitzing? Do I not know this because I don't live in Provo? And I would like to see this other blog you mentioned. What is the link to it?

Michelle said...

By the way, I just google svitzing to see if I could figure out the definition without waiting for your reply and your blog is the fifth link listed! Cool! Anyway, if you could still provide me with that definition, that would be great.

kelly said...

CHAD!!!!!!!! GIRLS SUCK!!!!!
I like movies AND dinner. BUT i usually plan ahead on weekends... like this weekend totally full, and next weekend halfway full. I mean I can't help that I have an AWESOME social life! ahhahahaha jk, but for reals, both sides just need to take risks. the more risks the more makeout sessions!
love,
your sister

Morgan LaRee said...

Ok, here's my opinion:
I love dinner movie dates. If I didn't like movies, I guess I wouldn't like them, but not because they weren't original. Boys don't need to spend half their day thinking of some original idea, especially if I wouldn't enjoy it as much as a movie.
Your chances of the girl being free are increased if she has more notice, but I have no problem with a guy calling the day of. In fact, it could be a game you play--what plans does she drop to go out with you??
And I am too much of a pansy to ask a guy out, so I never would.

Nate and Ashley said...

ahahaha this is funny! good luck with that, and I say that if the girl is annoyed that you call last minute then she probably wouldn't work out anyway. You are so spontaneous therefore need a spontaneous woman!

*Love your blog by the way Always makes me laugh.

Brown said...

Chad I wish you were running for president of something. You know so much about life. I learn more reading your blogs than from any teacher in school :/ See ya sunday.

Love,
Brown - SVITZING!!! sounds like what obama and his wife do... :)

Kalasie said...

Shvitzing means sweating... like when it's really hot out, so maybe not such a romantic thing to ask a girl... it has a less common but more graphic connotation as well, (private parts sweating from thrusting action) so I'd avoid using words you aren't sure about...

And, some girls like to be asked out ahead of time; it shows respect, that you're considerate of their time and plans, that you don't assume they've nothing to do, and that they weren't the last option you had for the evening. 2-4 days should be enough time, though, unless it's something a girl needs to prepare for-the more "fancy", the more time- she may want to go for new clothes, a mani/pedi, get her hair done, etc. She may even need to wait for a payday for that, re-arrange her bills if she really likes you and wants to make an extra effort.

Otherwise, I agree with you, girls should feel free to ask a guy out. The mormon thing about having to one-up each other and make a date so unique is silly, and luckily for the rest of us it is only a cultural thing; no one else I know is like that. The expectation level must be so stressful on both sides!

I humbly offer my non-mormon input here... it is perhaps because there are so many limitations on mormon behavior in general, that one feels a great need to express ones self uniquely any other way possible.

Another first-date mistake... DON'T make it too long, one thing after another. Leave 'em wanting more time with you, not checking their watch. Something light, something that allows for some talking but also has a little "interference" so you don't have awkward silences is a good first date.

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