Christmas is a wonderful time of year. There are lights, presents, goodwill towards men, and, of course, music. But unfortunately all Christmas music is not up to par. Here are the top five worst Christmas songs ever made:
#5 Wonderful Christmastime by Paul McCartney- Now right off the bat I have offended many die-hard Beatles fans for kicking some mud on their untarnished "Paul McCartney" platter. Wonderful Christmas time is a synthesizer packed, "floating through spaceish", typical song from an era when sounds like that ruled the world in rabid packs. It is only considered a "Christmas" song because Sir McCartney used sleigh bells as a backup noise and inserted the word "Christmas" at various, random points.
#4 We Wish You a Merry Christmas by Ashanti- It is an absolute shame that this song was forced to make an appearance on this list, but Ashanti has made it possible with her lyric bending, over simplistic, and boring version of this traditional Christmas classic. "Now bring us some milk and cookies"??? What on Earth did figgy pudding to do deserve that switch, Ms. Ashanti?
#3 Santa Clause is Coming To Town by Bruce Springsteen- Just like the song above, I hate to put such a great song on a bad list. If you have never heard this song before, just know that Bruce redoes the song to add a wonderful "all-American", redneck meets hard rock jazz feel to it. Wanna experience it for yourself? Click Here
#2 Please Daddy (Don't Get Drunk For Christmas) by John Denver- Stereotypical country song lyrics meet a failed attempt to create a sentimental Christmas song. Need I say more?
And now, the WORST Christmas song ever made....
#1 The Christmas Shoes by Newsong- I don't even know how to express my feelings for this song. Over emotional? Ridiculous story? Sappy? None of these songs do The Christmas Shoes the justice it deserves. This song about a small boy buying shoes for his cancer-ridden and dying mom is not only completely unrelated to Christmas but is so depressing you wish you were the one dying. In fact, in Tom Reynold's 2006 book I Hate Myself and Want to Die: The 52 Most Depressing Songs You've Ever Heard, he names "The Christmas Shoes" as the most depressing song in modern recorded music history.
Moral of the story- if you want to have a Christmas with less meaning, tradition, and enjoyability then put these five songs on and you will be set to go.
Chad
P.S. I will have a top 5 best Christmas songs list coming shortly. Stay tuned!
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2 comments:
I especially felt bad for the figgy pudding, the poor poor figgy pudding.
Natalie and I were at the Gateway this last weekend and every song was a hip hoppity version of Christmas songs. After about 2 I ripped my ear drums out and popped them with my foot.
PS I would be amazed if you actually read my entire last post. If you did, see me for a prize.
I heard that christmas shoes song the other day and had to restrain myself from doing a flying tackle into the computer. Agreed 100 percent.
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