Not even three years ago most people couldn't tell you what a blog was for their life. A blog was an unknown idea and may as well have represented a flooded cornfield rather than the Websters' definition of a blog, which is, quite simply, a "website that contains an online personal journal with reflections, comments, and often hyperlinks provided by the writer."*Now blogs are everywhere. I have one. My friend have them. Even God has graced the electronic world with his presence with his very own blog. Technorati estimates that a new blog is made every 1.4 seconds. That's 61, 714.2 new blogs a day- a number that even spawn-happy rabbits can appreciate.
Lots of new blog can only mean good news for online entertainment, right? In reality... no. Not at all, in fact. The rules to writing a successful and interesting blog are rather simple. Obey all three and you will emerge with a captive audience who will return for seconds after dinner. Choose to ignore these and you will write something that will be as exciting as going through old bank statements and Alan Greenspan's loafers.
Rule 1- KEEP IT SHORT! This is easy. Long blogs are hard to pay attention too. If there are lots of words and few pictures, people with short E-attention spans will not read.
Rule 2- THIS IS NOT A JOURNAL! Despite what Websters* says, do not, at all, under any circumstance, think that writing about the mishaps with your crush at school today and washing your cat between TV shows is good blog content. The truth is people don't care about those things and nothing will turn readers off quicker than having your "private journal" become a public forum. Write about any subject or topic that interests you- just not yourself, you mirror-hugging twat!
Rule 3- ADD HUMOR AND PERSONALITY! No reader should feel like they are obligated to read a blog. The content should be interesting, engaging and most importantly, yours. Adding humor and personality will liven up any piece and make it an enjoyable experience for your readers instead of a grammatical Bataan Death March.
There you have it. Three easy ingredients that, when mixed together properly, make a delicious electronic treat. Of course, the Daily Derbi violates all three of these and I don't understand why any of you have read this far. That being said, buy insurance from me.
-- Chad Waite, Daily Derbi
* This definition is wrong and Websters sucks.
5 comments:
Well said. Except I only half agree with 2. Though my blog isn't a journal, the majority of my blog is reflection on my thoughts on life. As are all the blogs I read. Therefore, personal and introspective is fine to me.
But the ones that are just full-on journal-style are only read by moms. So I'm still down with their abolition.
The captcha for this comment post said "humiatin." ask your doctor if Humiatin is right for you.
PS Alan Greenspan's loafers. Wow. And that's why we're friends.
I like number 1. It reminds me of "keep it simple, stupid!"
Humaitin may have mild to moderate side effects including sudden relinquishment of sphincter control and heart explosion. If symptoms persist, arrange a funeral. Humiatin may not be right for everyone, and should not be used by those hosting alien embryos in their chest cavities.
I agree with these, but am now wondering if my posts are too long... Well I suppose I am opposed to the downfall of academic journalism. It depends on if the post is meant to actually express opinion with backing logic or just be a silly little post to entertain.
My friend Chad,
You do not post a new blog once a day or more, and thus I think your blog undeserving of the title "Daily Derbi." It should be "Semi-Weekly Derbi" or something.
Disapprovingly, Claire.
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