Daily Derbi

The Daily Derbi has a new home!

2009-08-09T09:36:00.000-07:00

Loyal fans, good news! The Daily Derbi is no longer constrained to a ".blogspot" URL! In fact, it has completely moved to it's very own website, appropriately found at http://dailyderbi.com. So head over to the new site and update your bookmarks and RSS subscriptions right....wait for it...now!

-- Chad Waite, DailyDerbi (.com)

P.S. ChadWaite.com will also go to the same

Screw living in the moment. Lets take pictures instead!

2009-08-07T18:01:00.000-07:00

** An after thought to this blog: When I was in the process of putting together this post I had a clear goal of conveying my thoughts on the over-usage of photography. When writing I never had a specific person in mind that I was directing these thoughts towards, however, several people have thought that this was the case. First, let me say that this blog isn't "applicable or directed" towards anyone at all. That was not the intention of this post in any way, shape or form. Second, I never said that I was an exception to the content in this post. I take pointless pictures all the time and it was myself more than anyone else that influenced my conclusion that photography as a whole is overused. To remedy these problems I have edited out some parts of the original blog.**

After a wonderful trip to a friend's estate in Washington a question was left stewing about in the back of my mind on the trip home. To get in the right frame of mind for hearing the question, think about the oldest picture you have ever seen. The oldest picture I've seen (bar Google searching "old picture") is an ancient black and white of my great great grandma's family lined up on the main street of some old town in Texas about 700 years ago.

The picture seems even older when you consider the fact that photography hasn't even been around for 200 years. The first permanent photograph was taken in 1826 and photography in general didn't become affordable and practical till the early 1900s. Back in these days family pictures weren't an annoying annual event but rather a once in a lifetime occurrence, if even that. In the late 1800s standard Daguerreotype photographs would cost up to $10 just for one copy- that's about $255 today. If that was still the going rate per picture, I can name several friends who would have had to take out two mortgages to pay for their vacation to Washington.

So, a bit of history on photography is all fine and good but what's the point? The answer lies in the question that I had contemplated for 15 hours in the back of a VW Jetta next to a cooler of frozen Salmon fillets: has photography lost it's special purpose? Has this art lost all meaning with the advent of digital photography? Have pictures with real purpose become a thing of the past when cameras became a part of the 15-year-old girl's cell phone?

The answer to these questions is undeniably yes.

By simply regarding the massive amount of pictures taken on my road trip, I realized that quantity now speaks more than quality. Girls in general have a specific knack for abusing the sacredness of photography by taking absolutely meaningless pictures in large doses. No, I don't care to look at the picture of me talking to my friend in the back seat of the car. No, I don't care to look at a picture of someone taking a picture of you taking this picture. No, I don't care to look at the same picture as before but from a different angle three steps to the right as if it will drastically change the captured content.

In fact, the frenzy to document every moment of a special moment leads to the photographer not being able to live in the moment itself. Instead they live in the moment through pictures. When I was in Las Vegas a couple months back the crew I walked down the strip with had to take countless pictures to ensure they remember the experience. Apparently the camera in their minds wasn't good enough to let them simply soak the moment in and enjoy just being there.

Photography should be used sparingly. Used to remember highlights of vacations, family gatherings, unique experience. Used to remember important moments in your life. It shouldn't be used to recreate a down-to-the-second visual timeline of an ordinary everyday circumstance. Because that's boring and mundane. And a hundred years ago you wouldn't spend $10 on mundane.

-- Chad Waite, Da ily Derbi

P.S. Whitney Hopes, if you are reading this you are the exception to the girls take bad pictures rule.

"No thanks, I have already eDone that."

2009-07-30T10:17:00.000-07:00

Two weeks ago at a annual community fair I got to experience a near once in a lifetime opportunity. A friend and I were making our way through the crowds when we spotted a helicopter landing in a nearby field. After moving closer to the helipad we noticed a sign that read "helicopter rides." Upon arriving at the registration tent we found that rides were only $35 and without hesitation I put my name on the list of upcoming riders.

Only minutes after paying I was in the air buzzing around Draper pretending to shoot a machine gun out the side or wishing I had pennies to drop. Even after slightly expecting a case of "never meet your childhood star" syndrome, I can say that the flight was nothing short of amazing. It was everything I expected a helicopter ride to be in my mind. After we landed, however, I realized that the entire event felt oddly familiar.

It took me several days to figure out why but soon I realized that the culprit for the "I've experienced this before" feeling was nothing more than computer software and video games. It is uncanny how well Google Earth or any flight simulator can match the exact feeling that I got while in a real-life helicopter. The view of looking down on civilization below can be nearly carbon copied through the soft glow of an LCD screen.

The helicopter ride was truly one of the neatest experiences of my life. But I honestly think that I would have enjoyed it much more if I didn't know exactly what to expect before lifting off and hovering 500 ft over my house. It is a sad but awe-inspiring thought that modern technology has the ability to recreate situations- ones that would ordinarily be incredibly unique and special- virtually any time you want to experience it. I just can't wait till they come out with robot wives...

-- Chad Waite, Daily Derbi

Now that Apple is a douchy company...

2009-07-29T14:09:00.000-07:00

A somewhat unspoken war has been raging for nearly a decade between several technology companies. The fight isn't over profit margins or manufactured products but simply if the company was regarded as cool in the eyes of the public. Several companies, including Microsoft (most recently with Bing), have tried their hand at winning the title of coolest electronic company. Now only two are left at the top: Apple and Google. And we have a winner.

Before the verdict is released, lets take a look at what made Apple and Google such good contestants for this war. Immediately the design and ingenuity of Apple's growing line of products comes to mind. The simplicity and functionality of their iPod line put the MP3 player on the map of every college kid in the nation, making Apple instantly cool. Anyone who was anyone had an iPod. And six years later it's still business as usual. Apple entered the cell phone market with the revolutionary iPhone, improved the design of their Macbook laptop series, and remastered the Macintosh OS software (which is brilliant, I must admit).

Google is quite the opposite. While Apple is great at building powerful gadgets that cost more than a pair of Sienna Miller's gold-plated underwear, Google has built powerful gadgets that cost..well, nothing. Not only is their search engine always evolving and improving but the tech firm has put out enough industry revolutionizing technology to choke a homeless dog. Google Earth, Docs, Gmail, Reader, Maps, Books- the list goes on and on and on. And all of this is free to anyone, anywhere, at anytime- that's cool.

Down to brass tacks then. The coolest electronic company in the world right now is undoubtedly Google. Why? It's safe to say that both of these companies love innovation, however, Apple's problem is the unseen second half of that statement: Apple loves innovation... if it's theirs.

A perfect example of this was found in an Engadget article explaining that the new Google Voice app for the iPhone was rejected by Apple for duplicating built-in iPhone features... whatever the hell that means. It's nothing short of ironic that Apple would pull such a turn around on Google like that, especially when you consider the iPhone is already jam packed with Google features that Apple asked for (maps, YouTube, etc).

So Google, here is too you for being an innovative company devoted to helping out the general public. For not charging us our first born child with interest for your products. For not having a blind following of loyal fans that will give you their money just because they can afford it and regular people can't. And especially for not being totally anal when someone tries offering an improvement on your ideas even though you should have thought of it on your own in the first place.

-- Chad Waite, Daily Derbi

P.S. Here is another example of how Apple reacts when things aren't going exactly to their plans.

P.P.S. Now roast me Apple haters!

"One nation, under Diet Coke..."

2009-07-26T23:08:00.000-07:00

Turn on the news right now and two things will happen. First, the middle-aged anchor lady will be wearing a second face made of make-up and be dressed like a cleavage-pushing, club-prowling cougar. Secondly, a story about some major event threatening to end humanity as we know it will be featured. But these are nothing new. It first started with the Russians, followed by Wal-Mart, then it was Global Warming after Sarah Palin, and now it's the bold and fresh Swine Flu.

Personally I think the biggest threat to humanity is the unregulated and ramped middle-aged women's addiction to Diet Coke. Right now, everyone one reading this (you included) could name more bored 40-year-old wives addicted to Diet Coke than you could count on two hands- that's ten. My mom is addicted. My friend's moms are addicted. Robert Pattinson is addicted to the stuff, proving that even Vampires have a second liquidy weak spot.

So much is heard about the many events that could end the world. What really should be feared, however, is Coca-Cola raising the price on their Diet line or discontinuing it all together. If this happened Earth would subsequently be crawling with angry, headache-laden zombie women who've forgotten what water is. So please, Coca-Cola, don't do that. Or my mom will eat my brains.

-- Chad Waite, Daily Derbi

P.S. This was a stupid blog. It had no point. Scroll down for a much better post.

70 miles in 7 years

2009-07-16T09:09:00.000-07:00

In January of 1863 some guy had the bright idea to build a railroad that spanned the entire length of the United States. Six years later the Transcontinental Railroad was finished. In a different January, this time in 1930, another guy had another idea to build a really big structure he would call the Empire State Building in downtown New York. And guess what! In just 464 days, it was done! Then some guy in San Francisco had an idea to build a bridge over a nearby bay and call it Golden Gate. And you guessed it- just a tick over four years later, the Golden Gate Bridge was completed.

Certainly no one can argue that mankind isn't capable of building truly remarkable things. These examples are proof that if something needed to be built to further the quality and ease of living through technology, the human race would build it. But I am sad to report that the glorious days of "plan then act" building have disappeared forever.

A few days ago a local paper article proudly displayed a new addition to the Trax light rail system that will extend the train to several different areas around the Salt Lake Valley. This addition is meant to reduce the hellish and consistent congestion on Utah's I-15 corridor. The Utah Transit Authority (UTA) even boasted their new slogan for the proposal, claiming a triumphant "70 miles in 7 years!"

70 miles in 7 years...? Pardon me UTA but how the hell does 70 miles of track take seven years to lay? The Transcontinental Railroad took six years to build. And the workers had none of the modern conveniences available to us now like gasoline engines, heavy duty construction equipment, and Power Bars. Instead a bunch of non-English speaking Chinese immigrants armed with hammers and....well just hammers completed a 1776 mile-long railroad (25 times longer than the proposed Trax line) in one year less than what UTA has allotted.

Yes, I know that you can't just up and build a railroad through a sprawling urban area overnight. Unlike 1863- where ever thing was flat and open and packed with Buffalo- 2009 is filled with city zone laws, property rights, legislation, hippies and all sorts of red tape. But it's the endless amounts of small problems like those that prevent desperately needed projects like Trax from being completed like they would have been in the past. Can't humanity find a way to streamline these type of projects with out everyone and their dog getting bum hurt and delaying a project that would benefit tens of thousands?

On a final note, I would like to point out that it isn't just Utah that suffers from what I like to call "politically correct construction." The most famous example would be New York's Freedom Tower (also know as 1 World Trade Center), which has been under construction for four years and has only has half of a foundation to show for it. Just naming it probably took 464 days. Our father's father's fathers would be proud...

-- Chad Waite, Daily Derbi

P.S. I actually really like San Francisco and the Golden Gate Bridge. The people there are really nice too.

"Yes, I do mind holding and listening to terrible classical."

2009-07-12T09:47:00.001-07:00

Years ago when I was a younger and happier kid, I picked up a phone to complain about a misplaced order from an online paintball company. Armed with my receipts, order numbers, and every ingredient needed to remedy the problem quickly, I was foolish enough to think that I would even to get talk to a real, live human being from the get go. Instead I was greeted by a slow talking automated voice telling me to "listen to the menu options as they have recently changed."

I could go into the mundane details of the following maze of numbers and commands that it took to finally reach a real person but I won't. Instead, I will sum the event up by saying that the entire phone call- one that should have lasted not 10 minutes- ended after 35 painstaking minutes of enduring what this particular company called customer support.

And that leads me to the point of this article- why the hell is it so hard to find good customer support now? Sure, running across bad customer support in your time of customer need isn't what most people would call a rare occurrence. But it does blow my mind how widespread this problem seems to be. And while complaining about it is an expected side effect from nearly every run-in, I have to say that my recent problems with Twitter have been off the scale.

Last week I discovered the unfortunate news that something went wrong in some computer somewhere in the work and that someone had their Twitter account stop working. And that someone is me, Chad Waite, the social media geek who uses and loves Twitter like he would a love three-legged puppy.

But I have now had to shoot that puppy dead because of it's awful customer support. After long nights spent awake trying to figure out who to contact, writing emails, and replying to endless automated computer responses, I can officially say that I have yielded no positive results, eventually giving in and making a new Twitter account (@fakeitvchad) as I try to restore my old one.

Yes, I know Twitter is a free service, and yes, I know that they are unfunded and probably cannot afford a massive service department that has to deal with scores of people just like me. But I am also surprised that they don't prepare for this kind of situation when organizing the company in it's infancy. So often I hear of companies who pride themselves on their customer service and how that should be the reason to choose them. But shouldn't good customer service be a universal part of every company? After all, we have invested our time and in most cases our money in them. Shouldn't they do the same for us?

-- Chad Waite, Daily Derbi

P.S. Pretty damn good ending there, eh? I rather liked it.

The three rules of blogging

2009-06-28T22:56:00.000-07:00

Not even three years ago most people couldn't tell you what a blog was for their life. A blog was an unknown idea and may as well have represented a flooded cornfield rather than the Websters' definition of a blog, which is, quite simply, a "website that contains an online personal journal with reflections, comments, and often hyperlinks provided by the writer."*

Now blogs are everywhere. I have one. My friend have them. Even God has graced the electronic world with his presence with his very own blog. Technorati estimates that a new blog is made every 1.4 seconds. That's 61, 714.2 new blogs a day- a number that even spawn-happy rabbits can appreciate.

Lots of new blog can only mean good news for online entertainment, right? In reality... no. Not at all, in fact. The rules to writing a successful and interesting blog are rather simple. Obey all three and you will emerge with a captive audience who will return for seconds after dinner. Choose to ignore these and you will write something that will be as exciting as going through old bank statements and Alan Greenspan's loafers.

Rule 1- KEEP IT SHORT! This is easy. Long blogs are hard to pay attention too. If there are lots of words and few pictures, people with short E-attention spans will not read.

Rule 2- THIS IS NOT A JOURNAL! Despite what Websters* says, do not, at all, under any circumstance, think that writing about the mishaps with your crush at school today and washing your cat between TV shows is good blog content. The truth is people don't care about those things and nothing will turn readers off quicker than having your "private journal" become a public forum. Write about any subject or topic that interests you- just not yourself, you mirror-hugging twat!

Rule 3- ADD HUMOR AND PERSONALITY! No reader should feel like they are obligated to read a blog. The content should be interesting, engaging and most importantly, yours. Adding humor and personality will liven up any piece and make it an enjoyable experience for your readers instead of a grammatical Bataan Death March.

There you have it. Three easy ingredients that, when mixed together properly, make a delicious electronic treat. Of course, the Daily Derbi violates all three of these and I don't understand why any of you have read this far. That being said, buy insurance from me.

-- Chad Waite, Daily Derbi

* This definition is wrong and Websters sucks.

A bit of shameless self promotion

2009-06-24T08:07:00.000-07:00

Hello all you loyal readers. I just wanted to take a quick moment and write down what can only be called electronic self-indulgence. Yesterday I passed the Utah Property and Casualty Insurance Insurance exam, which in turn means that I am now a fully licensed insurance producer.

I have accepted a position with Farmers insurance and will be writing auto, home, life, and health policies. So here is my request- if you yourself or a anyone that you know is in need of any type of insurance, or you are just curious to see if you can get a cheaper rate than what you currently have, please give me a call.

While I am not legally allowed to give gifts to people that help me find business, I can promise that if you do help me on my quest of getting my personal insurance ball rolling I will dedicate a wonderful Facebook group in your name!

Congrats to me,

-- Chad Waite, Daily Derbi

Pass the Dutchie...?

2009-06-19T00:03:00.000-07:00

I have found a song that sums up 80's music in three mundane and confusing minutes. "Pass the Dutchie" by The Musical Youth was released in 1982 and made it to the #1 spot on the Billboard ratings for three weeks in a row in England. It made tenth place in the U.S.

I do apologize about following up my awesome previous post with this.

-- Chad Waite

The Worlds Biggest Manmade Things

2009-06-10T22:11:00.000-07:00

Mankind has built some pretty big things in the past. Three thousand years ago I am sure some people would have sworn that nothing would ever rival the pyramids of Egypt. But here today in 2009 humans have pushed the limits of the word "biggest" and produced some really, really large things:

1. Airplane
When a man drives a big vehicle it is commonly believed that he is compensating for something. So we can assume that the person who sits at the cockpit of the 276-foot-long Antonov An-225 must have an unhappy wife. This HUGE Russian cargo transport airplane was built in 1988 and still rules the skies today. Without cargo, the An-225 weights 385,000 lbs and is capable of carrying another half a million pounds in payload weight.

2. Helicopter
Everything really is bigger in Russia! This especially holds true with land mass, poverty rates, and helicopters. The Russian-made, twin rotored Mil Mi-12 holds the record as the world's largest helicopter. Although only two prototypes were built in 1968 and the flying beast was never put into production, the Mi-12 has received it's fair share of attention over the years. In March, 2009, the Mi-12 was the center of a popular viral April Fools joke dubbed "The Hotelicopter." Even yours truly feel for it.

3. Land Vehicle
It's ugly. It's expensive. And it's big. Really, really big. It's called the Takraf RB293 and it was built to destroy things- specifically the Earth. This 31 million pound monster is called a bucket-wheel excavator and was built in Australlia for strip mining and eating bad children. It's 310 ft tall and 722 ft long, which is two thirds as long as the world's shortest commerical airport runway.

4. Building
Sure, everyone knows that the world's tallest building is the Burj Dubai, but most don't know that the Boeing Jetliner Factory in Everett, Washington holds the title of the largest building on Earth. This MASSIVE structure makes even Boeings largest planes (747, 777, & 787) look minuscule in comparison to the 93 acres of space the factory covers.

5. Bridge
When you think of the longest bridge in the world, you probably imagine a suspended road hanging over water, rivers, or vast amounts of nothingness. Odds are the Bang Na Expressway doesn't come to mind. But this viaduct toll-road in Thailand holds the record as the longest bridge in the world. In fact, Bang Na is quite impressive when you consider it supports a 33.5 mile-long road at an average height of 138 ft.

D
6. Boat
Right off the bat I can tell you that pictures do no justice to how big the cargo ship Knock Nevis really is.This floating mini-city measures in at a whopping 1,500 ft and 225 ft wide. That is bigger than the Eiffle Tower and the Empire State Building! Although it has lost the title of largest seafaring ship after its retirement in 2004, the Knock Nevis is still the largest vessel to float the seven seas. Holy ship!

7. Ball of Twine
When you thought small towns with nothing to do couldn't get anymore boring, in comes Darwin, Minnesota. This tiny town of 276 boasts the world's largest ball of twine. The ball weighs in at an astounding 19,336 pounds and measures 41 feet across. That equates to roughly 70 lbs of twine per lucky Darwin citizen.

8. Man
Imagine not being able to go through any doorway without hitting your head every time you walk through and you will know what it's like to be Bao Xishun. All 7' 5" of him. This 58-year-old giant wouldn't only stick out in a crowd of shorter, fellow Chinese folk, but would be easily recognizable anywhere in the world... and he is. After Guinness World Records appointed him as the tallest man in the world in 1991, media attention has been anything but scarce.

-- Chad Waite. The Daily Derbi

Chad Waite

Screw you! We're old and we do what we want!

2009-05-30T08:47:00.000-07:00

Ladies and gentlemen, here are three items that are on the life support machine we like to call the senior population. Without the support of those 60 and older, the following would probably cease to exist:

1. Home Phonelines

Why it's on this list: I have yet to understand the reason why home phones are still around. You would think the advent of the cell phone- you know those small, portable, convenient talking devices- would vanquish the need for a phone that keeps to tied down to your kitchen.

How long will they be around? Although old people and some single moms love them, home phone lines are a dying breed. According to a study that I can't find on the internet (but heard it on TWiT), 20% of American households have ditched their home phones and taken the cell phone only option. Despite Comcast and other companies trying to bundle home phone lines in with "value packages," I think that home phone lines have reached their time and will probably see a very sharp decline with the next generation of seniors.

2. Newspapers

Why it's on this list: It's no secret that newspapers have fallen on hard times. Advertising money is being spent online and not on hard copies of the Daily "Insert Home Town Here." GenX-ers, for the most part, resort to digital content for their news. Old people, however, turn to their tried and true since 1440 option- the newspaper.

How long will they be around? Not long. Newspapers across the country are dropping like bankrupt flies. They are, quite literally, dying with their demographic.

3. The entire Buick car company

Why it's on this list: I think I will let the pictures do the talking on this one. See if you can catch the reoccurring theme.

How long will they be around? Unfortunately, human DNA shows that all senior citizens will like Buicks at some point in their later years. According to a recent fake study, 90% of all old people (65 and up) have had or still own and appreciate a Buick sedan. The study also states that even if you hate Buick cars at a young age, deteriorating vision will help give a senior citizen "beer goggle" effect towards cars, thus making everyone susceptible to the "appeal of Buick." And with numbers like 90%, you can be assured that this car company will stay around...well...forever.

So there you have it. Three items that should be extinct but are not due to the wonderful miracle of old people.

-- Chad Waite, Daily Derbi

PS If you didn't scroll over the picture of the old lady driving the car, you should.

Save Rock Canyon!

2009-05-26T22:52:00.000-07:00

About two weeks ago when hiking Squaw Peak, I saw a sign near the entrance to Rock Canyon saying that a mining baron was targeting the popular recreation area. I didn't think much of it and brushed off the calls to rally against one Richard Davis and his plans to change the area from a rock climbing and hiking haven to a rock-extracting quarry.

But after an article in today's paper, I found that the problem is as serious as it first sounded. Apparently Mr. Richard "Dick" Davis owns 75% of the land that is the entrance to Rock Canyon. He also owns a mining company and plans to expand operations around the mouth of the canyon.

Now I am a very frequent visitor of Rock Canyon and I think it would be a shame to loose such a wonderful natural resource. I also understand that Davis does have rights as a land owner. But his attitude towards the situation is one of compromise and a total lack of understanding- a "my way or the highway" sorta view. In fact, in the Deseret News article, he was quoted saying, "If you want it [the land] to be yours, make it yours. Don't ask me to donate it."

Sure, from a business perspective that quote makes total sense. But what Davis isn't taking into account is the joy, activity, and lifestyle that Rock Canyon plays in the lives of so many- many more lives than the effects of mining would have on himself and a few shareholders. I mean, without rock canyon look at the stunning increase in chaos and hoodlumism that would engulf Utah County*:
So what can we do to save Rock Canyon and stop the upcoming surge of baby crack addicts and abortions? There are several ways to accomplish this:

Write a letter to Provo city telling them not to grant Davis a mining permit.
Join activist protests at the mouth of the canyon.
Chain yourself to the rock they will mine.
Write a crappy blog about the situation.

So there are four ways to take action Jackson against the evil Davis empire. And remember- any action is better than no action, and taking no action started the Swine Flu. In the end, pleeeeeeeeeeease Mr. Richard "Dickels" Davis, please, do not shut down Rock Canyon for your own fiscal advantage. Maybe this will offer some soft inspiration.

-- Chad Waite, Daily Derbi

* Research was conducted by Chad Waite. Results were taken from a total participation of one person. According to the poll, 100% of all participants said that if Rock Canyon closed down, they would resort to more drugs and abortions.

Little Chad

2009-05-19T09:34:00.000-07:00

Let the comments begin...

-- Chad Waite, Daily Derbi

Coach leaves Survivor, but stays in our hearts!

2009-05-12T09:42:00.000-07:00

Survivor needs more people like Coach. Let's face it- no one remaining on Survivor: Tocantins is very interesting, especially when compared to the wild personality of Coach Ben Wade. Yes, the blindside that took him out of the game was great. Yes, like everyone else I wanted him gone because he was annoying, egotistical, arrogant, and flat-out weird.

But that's what kept me watching Survivor with rapt attention.

Lets look at a few reasons why Coach Wade made Survivor so good this year:

His self-proclaimed expertise in literally everything made it fun to see if he could put his money where his mouth was...ever.
His speeches, monologues and summaries of nearly everything, big or small, that happened in the game.
The obvious conflict with other players and even the Survivor host, Jeff Probst.
His ridiculous stories.

CBS couldn't have asked for a better player. Coach added the clashing personality, unnecessary drama and bizarre antics that keep us coming back to reality TV. Even after being voted out of the Forza tribe, he still managed to make Survivor memorable with his stay at Ponderosa.

So here is to you, Coach! As much of a crazy wacko as you are, thanks for making Survivor fun to watch!

-- Chad Waite, Daily Derbi

P.S. StoryTrade.net

Blog Lists

2009-05-04T23:37:00.000-07:00

Good day fellow internet goers! I wanted to drop a quick line and apologize for my recent e-hiatus. But fear not Daily Derbi readers! I have good news that shall intrigue some and make other wonder why they are still reading this blog.

I can't reveal much, but I can tell you that I am currently working on a new blog project that will be taking much of my time in the upcoming future. I haven't set a target date for release but I can tell you that it's a pretty unsaturated subject and I excited to get more work done on it in time.

Besides teasing you with shreds (aka basically nothing) of future blog info, I have decided to leave you with a quick list of why lists make such good blog posts.

They are short
They hold peoples' attention
They get people to read well thought-out key points
Or stupid ones
They are fast and easy to make
Virtually every subject can be made into a list

So, all aspiring bloggers take note: in the past, lists have proven to be the way of the future. Blog on.

-- Chad Waite, Daily Derbi

Whoa!

2009-04-29T22:09:00.001-07:00

This is the coolest video ever. I was laughing at myself by the end of it.

Crazy, eh?

-- Chad Waite, Daily Derbi

P.S. Not Daily Derby

The worst places to hear babies crying

2009-04-28T22:39:00.000-07:00

We all know that the human child can emit the most bowel shaking, high pitched noises known to man. Here are the six worst places to here a baby cry:

6. Movie Theaters- Irritation comes easy when a baby is screaming bloody murder in a theater. It's even more insulting when the parent acts like there isn't anything wrong.

5. Cars- A screaming baby can turn any car ride into a trip from hell. Suddenly the seats seem so much closer...

4. Library- Nothing can ruin the atmosphere of a place that embodies the essence of peace and tranquility quite like a bitchy infant. Ya. I just went there.

3. On the phone- I can't stand talking on the phone for the most part but throw in a shill, hungry child on the other end and the red hang up button looks a lot friendlier.

2. Slumberland- If you had an alarm clock that woke you up with sounds of a crying baby, you would probably think twice about hitting the snooze button. Sleeping can't co-exist with that.

1. A Plane- Imagine a small, metal tube filled with recycled air and screaming babies. Now visualize the 35,000 ft that rests between you and the ground...

-- Chad Waite, Daily Derbi
P.S. Not the Daily Derby

The Swine Flu will rape your children and steal your 401k...

2009-04-27T22:19:00.000-07:00

At least that is what the media says. Let me tell you, tragedy sells. Now, for a moment, we can all take a deep, relaxing breath and forget about the economy and focus on a potential Armageddon called the Swine Flu.

This media firestorm has spawned literally overnight, so lets start with the obvious question: what is the Swine Flu? The answer is simply what the name suggests- a strain of influenza commonly found in pigs. While this doesn't sound particularly "end-of-the-worldish", it is important to note that the virus, just like the Bird Flu, has the ability to manipulate itself very quickly and infect new hosts. So far the virus has claimed 157 deaths in Mexico and reared it's ugly head all over the world, including the U.S.

Now everyone is up in arms and scared for their lives. The U.S. has officially declared a public health emergency and even started shipping huge portions of their Tamiflu reserves. Pharmacies in every country have been met with huge demands for flu remedies. And meanwhile the media is having the biggest field day since...well...the Bird Flu.

Reporting that the Swine Flu will take millions of lives and plunge the world into massive global debt is sensationalist news. Think I am joking? Take a look at this lead from a news.com article: "Even a mild swine flu epidemic could lead to the deaths of 1.4 million lives and cost the global economy more than $US330 billion." One can't help but say "Whoa, we are all screwed" after reading that.

The media needs to stop catering to viewers' emotions. I am not saying the Swine Flu isn't a threat and it does suck that people have been afflicted and even died because of it. But until we see nuclear bombs going off in every city and the human race ending as we know it, don't buy into the Armageddon hype that the media is spoon feeding you.

-- Chad Waite, The Daily Derbi (Not Daily Derby)

Photography as a hobby

2009-04-26T21:40:00.000-07:00

Three out of my four years in high school involved the art of taking and developing black and white photos. Back then I snapped pictures partly because I genuinely liked photography, partly because it was an easy class to goof off in, but mostly because my grade depended on it.

The notion of serious photography died with my high school career. However, some part of me has always admired talented photographers who took their passion and made it into a profession. My admiration also rests with those who practice photography as a hobby.

Tyson Call, a friend from my high school, is one of these "hobby photographers." While his equipment isn't "sub-par" by any means and some experience does rest under his belt, it would be a wrong to call him a professional. Yet his photography is stunning. One look at his Flickr photostream and you will see that, professional or not, the kid is damn talented. "I got into photography while living in Alaska," he said in a recent email. "I got a Sony point and shoot because there were so many photo opportunities there that it made it easy to take amazing pictures."

Things have changed a bit now. He shoots with a Nikon D90 and, like most other photographers around, process most pictures using Photoshop, Lightroom 2 and iPhoto. But despite the hardware change, he insists that photography is still just a hobby. "I don't have any professional aspirations for my photography because I like having hobbies I enjoy. You have to have something to do after you get off work, right?"

I am truly admire Tyson. His talent as a photographer is stemmed out of a true passion for taking pictures- not for monetary reasons, like so many things are in the world. So if you have a second, check out some of his work or even subscribe to his Flickr RSS feed.

-- Chad Waite, Daily Derbi

P.S. In case you missed the links, click HERE to view Tyson Call's Flickr account and HERE to see the RSS stream.

About last night

2009-04-21T20:33:00.000-07:00

Last night many of you read my heartfelt letter to Guster, my favorite band of all time. Amid the various comments expressing my admiration and the witty banter a request was made invoking the follow of my band on Twitter. After publishing the letter, I then sent out a tweet with a convenient link to my humble request.

And guess what! It worked!

I woke up this morning and upon checking my Twitter account saw that Guster had read my blog. I am now a proud member of the "Guster follows me on Twitter" club- a club with only 47 members. How cool is that?

-- Chad Waite, Daily Derbi

P.S. Thanks, Guster!

Guster, please follow me on Twitter

2009-04-20T23:28:00.000-07:00

Dear Guster,

My name is Chad Waite. I have been a big fan of you guys since I first heard your Lost and Gone Forever album back in 2003. Probably not your biggest fan, I admit, but devout enough to buy your CDs, concert tickets, and even a $20 tee-shirt at one of your concerts (which I still wear with pride today).

I have a genuine appreciation for both your unique style of music and your ability to recreate it perfectly (if not better) live. Brian's out-of-this-world drumming abilities are especially awesome to me- something that was not fully appreciated till I saw him playing bare-handed in SLC, Utah. As a fellow drummer myself, Brian has influenced my style in more than one way. On top of that, one of my band's* favorite covers is Ramona.

So as a super loyal fan and vowing my undying allegiance to be a Gusterhoid for life, I have one request of the band that I admire so much: please follow me on Twitter. I promise I don't post stupid tweets and it will give me stellar bragging rights. In fact, I don't know what else it will accomplish besides that fact that I can say, "Wow, my idols follow me on Twitter. Do yours? No? Haha, I win."

So there you have it. Guster, if you actually have read this just know you rock my socks off... and that my Twitter name is itvchad.

-- Chad Waite, The Daily Derbi

* Band is used simply as a term to describe an apartment full of half musically "talented" college students annoying their neighbors on a more than consistent basis.

P.S. Yes, this post is for-rizzle. I really hope Guster reads this.

Funny Walker Texas Ranger Clip Part Deux!

2009-04-19T23:40:00.000-07:00

This was funny. Not "Walker told me I have AIDS" funny, but funny.

-- Chad Waite, The Daily Derbi

P.S. A huge thanks to all of my readers. Especially the folks who have been re-tweeting my blogs on Twitter. You all rock and are the reason I write.

FollowFriday doesn't work

2009-04-18T21:58:00.000-07:00

The concept of FollowFriday isn't a vague one to most Twitter users. Simply stated, you put #FollowFriday in your status bar followed by the several names of recommended Twitter accounts that your followers should also follow.

The idea, in theory, is a great way of getting to know and follow more people that will add more value to your microblogging experience. But the truth of the matter is that FollowFriday has turned into a marketing joke- a "if you scratch my back, I will scratch your" kind of deal. Friday now consists of massive tweets bursting at the seams with the names of people I never intend to follow.

Users should only suggest people if they feel that they are truly adding something positive to Twitter. But the reality of the situation is that 90% people's reasoning for FollowFriday suggestions are based off of the following:

They recommended you so you must return the favor
They are a friend/relative
They need to reach a certain amount of followers
They are new to twitter

Terrible reasons for recommendations, all of them. Using these tactics will yield tweets like the one above. FollowFriday is a great idea but needs a hell of a lot of personal restraint to make it an effective method of honest recommendations- not just a message that won't even get a quick scan.

-- Chad Waite, Daily Derbi

Really Cute Bunnies

2009-04-16T23:00:00.000-07:00

At the request of a friend whose favorite color is pink, Britton Kowalk and Chad Waite hereby present a list of six reasons bunnies are cute:

Chad's Reasons

They are fluffy: Bunnies are fluffy and soft. They are nature's equivalent of Downey Soft.
They are happy: Horror films humans have produced- 4,723. Horror films bunnies have produced- 1.
They aren't her: I don't need to explain this one.

Britton's Reasons:

They make astounding hairpieces. Just imagine this one on your uncle, Carl. Smashing!
Come on. When would you not want to have this little guy around? Try and name a time. Dinner? No! You hate carrots, he'll handle them for you. Dates? Heck no! Forget awkward silences--now you have bunny silences!
At Easter time, it's not a guinea pig, hamster, dog, or cat that drops by and hides their precious candy eggs around your house. How long do you think it took him to lay all those? That's a lot of hard work, I'd say.

-- Chad Waite, Daily Derbi
Britton Kowalk, Derailed Thoughts

P.S. Sorry.

FotoFlexer

2009-04-15T23:14:00.001-07:00

I was online the other day and I was in need of a program to doodle a few words onto a picture with. I don't have any paint or Photoshop programs on my computer so I decided to search for free online photo editors.

I ended up finding FotoFlexer. It's a relatively simple online editing system that lets you manipulate images loaded from your computer. While the tools aren't too sophisticated and in-depth it does let you do simple tasks like erase, draw, and add basic effects. The program even lets you work with multiple layers and images.

While I am sure you find dozens of online programs similar too this, FotoFlexer was easy to use and had a very simple user-interface. Pretty cool. Plus it's free and that's usually the right price for most people. Check it out if you ever need some quick touch ups.

-- Chad Waite, Daily Derbi

The 5 Best Looking Sports Cars Money Can Buy

2009-04-14T20:47:00.000-07:00

5. Ferrari F430- Ferrari's styling has always been the company's strong point. This is manifested quite well in the F430. Price: $211,000

4. Porsche 911 GT3 RS- While some may argue that all Porsches look the same, the GT3 RS has shed its baby fat and trimmed the edges to give it a clean cut look that stands out among other 911s. Price: $223,200

3. Ascari A-10- The Ascari name isn't widely known as of yet but any car enthusiast can tell you there is certainly more than a just pretty face under the A10's bonnet. Try 0-60 in 2.8 seconds! Price: $695,000

2. The M12 LRV "Warthog"- Ok, this isn't much of a sports car but name one guy you know who wouldn't want one. Price: A hell of a lot.

P.S. This is a fully functioning Warthog. It is a "prop" designed for the Halo movie currently in production.

1. Ferrari 599 GTB- Ferrari has set the standard with this four-wheeled masterpiece. The 599 is quite simply the best looking car on the road...if you're lucky enough to see one. Price: $264,034

-- Chad Waite, Daily Derbi

P.S. Just ignore this picture of me right here. If you really want to know why it's here, ask me in the comments.

Stupid Anti-Smoking Commercials

2009-04-13T22:37:00.000-07:00

OK, this is pretty straight forward- the anti-smoking ads put out by The Truth make me want to smoke. Why? Let me give you an example from The Truth's new Smokerman ad campaign to give you a taste of the awful advertisements I have to deal with when trying to watch South Park.

That was, to say the least, a bad commercial. Two things strike me as especially odd while viewing this cinematic gem, however. First is the fact that these major ad campaigns are not cheap. This commercial has been playing on national TV and across various Internet sites including my beloved SouthParkStudios.com. And air time with the networks is a far sight more than pocket change.

Second is simply why? The Truth is primarily made up of teenagers who hate smoking and want to rid the world of its evil. Another group, The Phoenix Alliance (based in Salt Lake City), offers its membership only to kids 12-18. But honestly, who the hell cares at that age? When I was 16 I cared about driving, my secret Pokemon card collection, and how short the cheer leading squads skirts were (probably just like this guy). Not eliminating tobacco.

The entire anti-smoking movement is ridiculous to me. If you don't like smoking, fine. But don't waste my time with cinematic propaganda bull crap. I don't smoke because it's not healthy, it smells, and it cost a lot. Not because of this:

-- Chad Waite, Daily Derbi

P.S. I did a big of digging (aka Wikipedia) and found that organizations like The Truth are actually funded by big tobacco companies! Crappy commercials= people hating commercials and want to smoke= rich tobacco companies= a new blog for Chad.

Option Bars: The Future of the Internet?

2009-04-08T22:28:00.000-07:00

Less than three weeks ago Digg.com unveiled a new concept in Internet browsing. The site introduced a option bar that tags along at the top of your web browser with every story you view through Digg. The option bar contains a few functional options related to the basic usage of Digg. This includes options to:

Digg or Bury a story on site
View statistics such as diggs, views, and the original URL of the story
View related stories or random stories (if you're feeling wild)
Instantly send a tweet or update your Facebook status about the story including the URL

Probably the neatest thing about the option bar is that is masks the story's original URL and replaces it with a shorter URL (like tinyurl.com and is.gd) starting with Digg.com.

I think that we will see a lot more of these option bars in the future. They seem to be an effective way of rerouting traffic back to the original site by always having a presence on your Internet navigation. Digg isn't the only one jumping on this train, however. Facebook recently released their own options bar with their new interface design. I am just wondering what effect this will have on Internet browsing after this idea becomes more widespread.

-- Chad Waite, The Daily Derbi

P.S. If you know of any other websites that use option bars like this, please let me know. Also, the option bars all have an option to be deactivated too. Just hit the X in the corner.

iTV (Just ignore this)

Failed Child Actors: The Most Depressing Thing Ever

2009-04-07T21:23:00.000-07:00

Meet Amber Scott. She's 25, very attractive, and attending Trinity College in Connecticut. She is also plum out of work. Ms. Scott, as you may remember, was the child star who played Maggie in the 1991 blockbuster, Hook.

And after that...nothing.

Once famous child actors who are now forgotten have got to be one of the most depressing things ever. Just look at Amber. What has this actress amounted to since her role in Hook? A small voiceover in an episode of The American Experience is all she has to show in her time since the silver screen.

Sad, sad, sad. Here is a list of other child actors that dropped off the radar after their brief brush-up with stardom:

Isaiah Robinson
Jake Lloyd
Chris Furrh

Did any of those names ring a bell? No. So what can be done to avoid this problem? Simple- don't sign your kids up to be an actor. And if your child has already become an actor and you fear for their impending failure just give them to Angelina Jolie or the Octomom.

--Chad Waite, The Daily Derbi

iTV (Just ignore this)

Bands That Are Underrated

2009-04-07T11:28:00.000-07:00

This blog post is going to be a bit off track compared to my normal rants, lists, and opinion posts. I got to thinking about bands that are underrated the other day. In my head I recently reviewed a list of bands that I don't think got the credit they rightfully deserved.

So here it is- Chad Waite's underrated band that never got the attention they deserve is:

Jupiter Sunrise
(Check out their song Cherry Wine)

But of course my opinion is just a drop in the bucket. That's why I want to make a list of bands that should receive more attention based off of your opinions.

Just leave a comment and tell me which band you think deserves a spot on The Daily Derbi list, ushering in tens and tens of new listeners for said band.

-- Chad Waite, The Daily Derbi

P.S. You may also put the most overrated band of all time. My pick: Nickelback.

P.P.S. Please, please leave a comment. If you don't this post will be an epic failure and I shall resign from blogging.

I didn't feel like writing a blog tonight....

2009-04-04T22:00:00.000-07:00

So feel free to choose one (and only one) of these following options:

Peruse free cat software!
Wear the cats pajamas!
Play fun cat games!
Have a LOL with me and the LOLCatz!

Or...

5. Watch an exclusive Bloomberg interview with U.S. Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner!

Love,

--Chad Waite, The Daily Derbi

iTV (Just ignore this)

The Conficker Worm

2009-04-03T16:52:00.000-07:00

To most tech geeks out there the computer worm known as Conficker is nothing but old news. They already know that this computer virus is uploaded on an estimated ten million computers. They already know that the virus, while currently dormant, can be activated at anytime. And they certainly know the potential of Conficker to cause havoc on the Internet once activated.

I was not one of these tech geeks. In fact, I first heard about Conficker only a few days back when CBS' 60 Minutes did a special on it. But from the little research I have collected in the past few days I have come to a simple conclusion: Conficker scares me.

What is Conficker?

Conficker is a computer worm that is already present on over 10 million computers, according to a Symantec estimate (creators of Norton Anti-Virus). Virtually no signs of infection exist once the worm has found its way onto a system. It can also evolve very quickly, making it incredibly difficult to quarantine. Conficker is a sleeper virus, meaning that currently it is not active. It is only sitting in computers and waiting for a command to activate and start doing what it was designed to do.

What does Conficker do?

Since it has not yet been activated, the intentions of Conficker still remain a mystery. Traditionally hacker viruses and worms gather private and safeguarded information like banks statements, social security numbers, and other sensitive data to help hackers steal one thing: your money. Viruses and worms can also be used to take down servers, launch spam attacks, and a whole lot more. Conficker could be any one or a combination of these.

Where did Conficker come from?

Just like Conficker's purpose, its origin is unknown. Many assume that it is Russian-made (those meddling Russians!) or German-made (Ces allemands se mêlant!). It was first detected in 2008 and has quickly spread since then.

Is there any good news?

No. We are all going to die.

No, really, is there any good news?

Actually, yes there is. First and foremost is the fact that Conficker has remained dormant. Just days before April 1st, the Internet was alive with chatter about Conficker receiving commands and finally attacking. In the end, however, it was just an April Fools' rumor. The other bit of good news is that it only attacks the Windows operating system. Macs are safe as well as all Linux users (but really, who uses that?).

So there you have it. A brief introduction of what could easily be the end of humanity as we know it. For more information consult someone who doesn't just pretend to know what they are talking about.

-Chad Waite, The Daily Derbi

P.S. Conficker is still a better option than this.

The Ugliest Car Ever Made

2009-04-02T21:31:00.000-07:00

Ladies and gentlemen, introducing the Nissan CUBE! And let me be the first to say, "Nissan, what the hell?"

I am all for the concept of smaller cars. Small, light cars getting good gas mileage is super appealing to most people but not when it looks like your driving a small porta-potty. It's a shame to see such a good car company produce such a bad looking product like the CUBE- especially when it's a company that has brought us such lovely 4-wheeled sex machines like the GT-R and the 370z.

My goodness, it truly is terrifying. If looks could kill babies, the CUBE would be wanted for genocide. Even the interior is awful. And what's with the back window not going all the way around? Modern art and cars don't mix well. I am positive that Nissan's lead designer was also the guy who built this:

The similarities are uncanny! I am really hoping that people don't buy this car. There are so many other small cars that don't look like Rosie O'Donnell's...well... Rosie O'Donnell in general, that people should not find it hard to stay well clear of this monstrosity.

-- Chad Waite, The Daily Derbi

P.S.

iTV (Just ignore this)

The Best & Worst April Fools' Pranks of 2009

2009-04-01T19:49:00.000-07:00

Every year April Fools' Day seems to become bigger and bigger. It's even gotten to the point where major corporations are jumping on the pranking bandwagon and producing some pretty comedic results.

Here are the best April Fools' Day pranks for 2009:

Google's CADIE-We will start off with Google, a seasoned AFD veteran. Google has a long history of pranks and 2009 was no exception when they introduced CADIE, the Cognitive Autoheuristic Distributed-Intelligence Entity.
Digg Pop-ups- Digg joined the list of pranking websites with random cameo pop-ups of a variety of characters embedded in their stories. The guest list included Kevin Rose, The Count (from the Muppets), Hiro, Mr. T, and of course Chuck Norris.
The Hotelicopter- The Hotelicoper sounded so cool and so life changing that even I bought into it full-heartedly. But, alas, Yotel made an early April Fool of me.
We're Related to Obama- This was totally brilliant. The "We're Related" application on Facebook told every user that their fouth cousin (once removed) is President Barack Obama. The funniest place to see the effects of this prank is through a simple Twitter Search.

Here is a list of the worst April Fools' Day pranks:

Facebook Fees- This AFD prank was, to say the least, predictable, obvious, and flat-out dumb. It's clear the author- who should be ashamed- was trying for quantity over quality. Some bloggers only care about views.
This YouTube Video- Now it's April Fools' Day everyday!

-- Chad

Facebook to start charging

2009-03-31T22:55:00.001-07:00

Facebook, say it ain't so! Apparently the tried and true "revenue by advertising" system isn't working anymore. The popular social networking site has announced it will start charging for membership.

I personally love Facebook, but I will not be willing to pay for it, especially when there are still so many choices of free social networking sites (aka Twitter).

There isn't any word on pricing as of yet, but I am assuming Facebook is smart enough to offer both personal and corporate accounts (for things like fan pages and such). According to a statement released on Tuesday, the fees will start July, 2009.

Just like the aftermath of their subtle contract changes, I am just anticipating a HUGE public uproar on the newly imposed fees. I guess we will just have to wait and see...

- Chad

Hotelicopter is a fake :(

2009-03-30T21:53:00.000-07:00

This is the ultimate bummer. Apparently the super luxurious Hotelicopter isn't real. It was just a public relations stunt done by a stay-at-the-airport hotel company call Yotel.

This was truly too good to be true. The sad part is I completely bought into it. Hotelicopter had a good looking website, a Twitter account, an itinerary, machine specs, and pictures (although they did look a bit rendered)- enough to get my attention.

But that's OK. Life goes on and it will only be a matter of time before Richard Branson launches a fleet of Virgin Hotelicopters.

- Chad

A Hotelicopter?!

2009-03-29T23:14:00.000-07:00

Holy crap. Sometimes I just run across news that I absolutely have to share. Have you ever been on a cruise but wished you were actually on a cruise in the sky? If the answer to that is yes then you should look into getting a room on the world's first Hotelicopter.

I am not making this up. This HUGE helicopter is a reconditioned, Russian made Mil V-12 and is a fully functional flying hotel. There are 18 spacious rooms complete with all the accommodations of a 5-star hotel and, although specific prices have not been released, will probably cost more than Barry Manilow's right leg. It even includes a full-service spa called the Skyspa! Its maiden voyage is scheduled for this summer.

Now I am not sure if this will revolutionize the way people start to take a vacation, but I am pretty sure it's a good alternative for the billionaires who didn't get to go to space.

- Chad

P.S. Holy crap, I still can't believe this is real. My 12-year-old geeky side is having a heyday.

***UPDATE: The inaugural tour is scheduled to start June 26th, 2009, according to the company's Twitter account***

The Beatles are overrated

2009-03-29T12:43:00.000-07:00

Yes, I just made that accusation. After 23 years I have yet to understand the fascination people continue to have with The Beatles. Sure, some of their songs may be good. I can admit I have listened to my fair share of Let It Be and Eleanor Rigby, but on the whole the Beatles just don't do much for me.

The Beatles' cult following is especially surprising when you look at how strong and consistent it has been for nearly 50 years! I just wonder if people like the band for the music or if they are attracted to it as a symbol and what it represents (peace, love, LSD).

There have been plenty of bands with more talent and music writing abilities than the Beatles ever had. Yet these bands haven't garnered nearly as much attention or respect as Lennon and the crew did (here's an example).

But maybe this is just biased opinion and I should stick with "to each their own"...nah. The Beatles are overrated.

Chad

P.S. Am I the only one who feels this way?

The Best YouTube Clip Ever

2009-03-26T22:30:00.000-07:00

This is a real clip from Walker Texas Ranger. Probably the best clip from the show and quite possibly the best clip ever:

Thanks for the AIDS Walker!

Chad

5 TV shows that...

2009-03-25T21:43:00.000-07:00

Here are five TV shows that were better when they first started:

The Office- Simply stated, seasons 1 & 2 were brilliant. But five years into the franchise, the show has run out of fresh ideas and stretched any original drama to its limits. A good episode here and there can't compete with the consistent humor The Office used to deliver.
The Simpsons- The Simpsons has been running for 20 seasons. That's translates into the longest running TV series ever. Lets just say bold, fresh ideas are becoming scarce.
LOST- ANSWER MY DAMN QUESTIONS
Heroes- Here is a good strategy: Hook viewers on the first season with a wonderful plot and then replace the original writers...
Power Rangers- In middle school every guy watched Power Rangers even though the status-quo said said guys didn't. Old Power Rangers were actually really cool but now they have turned into real life Japanimation wannabe soap operas that would make the original Jason roll in his grave.

And here are five TV shows that have gotten better over time:

Family Guy- FOX bringing back Family Guy was one of their best moves ever. If that hadn't have happened, we wouldn't have gotten this:
Scrubs- Zach Braff and the crew have been pumping out funny episodes since day one. Plus Elliot has remained incredibly attractive. It just sucks Scrubs won't live on to see another season.
Arrested Development- It took me a while to warm to Arrested Development, especially when I accepted the fact that I had to start watching the series from the very first episode. That's when I realized if a season four existed it would probably be illegal for being too funny.
Top Gear- Just how good was Top Gear's 12th season? Let us review: the Vietnam Special, 2nd American Road Trip, and a special track appearance by the Bugatti Veyron. Clarkson and the boys just will not quit!
South Park- Trey Parker and Matt Stone have come as close to perfecting South Park as they can. The show has evolved from episodes featuring foul mouthed dialogue and potty humor to...well... episodes featuring foul mouthed dialogue and potty humor with political twists. Pressing social issues with comedic (yet realistic) solutions and free episodes online helps South Park get better year after year.

--Chad

7 People You Should Be Following On Twitter

2009-03-23T00:18:00.000-07:00

Based completely on my humble opinion, here are seven people that you should be following on Twitter:

Kevin Rose- Kevin Rose is the founder and chief architect of Digg.com and a host for the wonderful weekly Diggnation Podcast. He is one of the most followed people on Twitter and is just a cool fellow all around.
Alex Albrecht- Alex Albrecht could be considered Kevin Rose's counterpart. He is also a host for Diggnation and a founder of Revision3. Alex's posts are usually easy going (mostly just what he is doing at the moment) and not often business oriented.
Shaq- Celebrities on Twitter are a dime a dozen. Shaq's consistent interaction with fans, however, makes him so much fun to follow. He will often put out tweets saying "First person to find me at the Phoenix mall gets two tickets to tonight's game" or something to that effect. He'll even send tweets during halftimes between games! Like Kevin Rose, Shaq has a huge Twitter followership.
Jason Chaffetz- Congressman Jason Chaffetz is an interesting character to follow not so much for what he says but more for the fact that he has pioneered interaction between politics and Twitter. His use of Twitter was an essential part in winning his election- something that no other politician had utilized before him.
Robert Scoble- Want technical insight? This is the guy to follow. Robert Scoble is one of the first to start the phenomenon we know as blogging. Twitter is a wonderful counterpart to his enormously popular tech blog, Scobleizer.
Evan Williams- Evan Williams is the guy who brought us Twitter. So both out of respect and the want for Twitter updates, ev is a must follow.
Chad Waite- Chad is the author of the Daily Derbi and his tweets are just about the funnest/most rewarding thing to ever hit Twitter.

-- Chad

P.S. No, I feel no remorse for the shameless self-promotion. Also, follow BigBags.

Did you know?

2009-03-21T16:13:00.000-07:00

The older I get the more I realize how small and irrelevant I am as an individual in the overall collective scheme of things. Then I saw this very informative and incredibly interesting video on YouTube and now I feel even worse.

The world is moving at such an incredible rate that I can't help but feel that in the near future humans will just become a harvested product to feed massive computers and robots electricity and we will all be living inside a virtual world... wait, this sounds familiar.

-- Chad

The New Facebook

2009-03-19T21:46:00.000-07:00

Do you like the new Facebook? Certainly a question that you have been asked at least once by someone (probably me) after the social networking site launched its revised website. Despite using the same color schemes and familiar navigation options on the borders of the homepage, Facebook users have been greeted by a radically new design that seems, well... Twitter-ish.

Probably the most prevalent change is that user updates are now displayed in a real-time stream- a revision stemming from what Facebook claims is a need to “keep you up to date on everything that's happening.” Streaming content can be filtered according to networks you belong to (cities, schools, etc). The user interface has been retooled and other details like fan pages have received complete overhauls. But the most shocking change- one that should have been done years ago- is the absence of the “is” in the status bar.

Sounds a lot like Twitter right? And if people love Twitter and Facebook is like Twitter, then people should love Facebook. If A=B and B=C, then users will fall in love with Web 2.0 again.

But people haven’t fallen in love.

According to a recent poll I conducted on The Daily Derbi, 47% of Facebook users don’t like the new site. Besides nearly one out of two people disapproving of the site, 25% said they needed more time to think about it, meaning the disapproval rate can only go up. Only 27% favored the new style.

Some poll results are even more extreme. According to a massive poll done by TechCrunch, over 94% of people disapprove of the revamped Facebook. 94%! That is huge.

So why do people dislike this change? First and foremost, human nature tends to reject change in general. Think back to last year’s massive Facebook overhaul. This exact same situation was occurring- people didn’t like the transition then and they don’t like it now. People are now wanting the newest “old Facebook” back.

But beside instinctive human nature, several valid points were made on the Daily Derbi about why users don’t like it. “I don't mind change, but if Facebook is just going to copy Twitter, I might as well just drop one... and it probably won't be Twitter,” says social media guru Nate Bagely. “I'm a fan of originality.”

Some people have argued that the new Facebook (and Twitter) just have too much information about anything and everything. “I don't particularly care about all of my friends status updates or wall-to-wall's that they have with each other, which was why the old facebook was better suited for me,” one reader mentions.

It seems that every update is met with poor reception. So what can Facebook do to switch the negative momentum? Be proactive. Instead of pulling an Apple and telling users what they want, ask them. Find out what features would interest and benefit users by direct interaction. Websites like Facebook and Twitter have enabled major corporations to do just that. Then, once changes have been decided, let users know well before hand (Facebook’s 4 day warning doesn’t count) about the changes and how they will impact the site and usage. The days of the traditional random hit and miss technique should be gone. With people’s presence and dependence on the web becoming greater everyday, prodding their users just a little bit will reap huge rewards and prevent future missteps, PR nightmares and feedback forms.

--- Chad

Oh ya. I almost forgot to mention how I feel about the new Facebook (if I didn't I know a few of you who would be irritated). I don’t particularly mind the new design. In my opinion, Facebook has always been about communicating with friends instead of networking with complete unknowns (aka Twitter). I think Britton Kowalk summed up how I feel pretty well: “The new home page is much simpler, displaying a constant stream in the middle (which you can fine tune to specific friends if you want), and highlights among your friends down the right side.” And that, to me, is what Facebook should be doing.

A response to Tyson Call's Twitter Blog

2009-03-17T00:55:00.000-07:00

This post is a response to Tyson Call's thought-provoking article on Twitter. I highly suggest you read that before reading this rebuttal.

Tyson, first off let me say good post. Second (a probably to the surprise of many) let me say that I agree with you to some degree on some of your points. That being said, let me review several of your key arguments that I both agree and disagree with:

1. Trendiness- Twitter is experiencing rapid growth (numbers estimate between 4-5 million active users now) but I disagree that it is becoming a full-blown trend. Yes, new users to the site will eventually plateau- but that is just like everything in the history of man. Twitter is obviously doing something right that people like- a lot of people, myself included. You can call anything a trend on the basis that new people are trying it out just to see what it is about (ex. driving, yoga, pets, drugs, running, eating, drinking, sleeping)

2.It's basically Facebook- No. No it's not. If you want to approach it as a "Status update" then fine, to each their own opinion. Twitter, however, is much more than just saying "Chad wants to go to Rice King right now and hates red." If it was just a status update then Twitter would have kept the "is" in everything you typed- just like Facebook did. Rapid access to raw opinions and information from people that you want to hear from(aka Jeremy Clarkson, Guy Kawasaki, Kevin Rose, friends) is much more than Facebook's "Chad can't wait for Gossip Girl because I love to laugh and feel emotional emotions."

3. People don't care about what you have to say: You actually have a very valid point on this one, but it boils down to how you decided to use Twitter. Many users approach Twitter as a marketing strategy and not a way to simply stay connected. These users (including about 112 of my 148) are people who go on adding blitzes and have set their profile to automatically follow anyone and everyone who adds them. It's annoying and retarded. But I disagree that no one cares. Let me ask you this? Why are you following the people you follow? I am pretty sure the opinions and thoughts of the eight people you are following, Tyson, have some significance to you- or you wouldn't be following them.

4. Twitter will run out of money- Hahahahaha. No. No they won't. Like you said, Twitter has been funded primarily from venture capitalists and other minor sources. Now Tyson, if you were that investor who has already invested $55 million in the company (that's a real stat from wikipedia) you would not let Twitter/your investment go under, plain and simple. Twitter knows they are running on borrowed funds. In fact, here is a direct quote from Twitter's about me site:

"Twitter has many appealing opportunities for generating revenue but we are holding off on implementation for now because we don't want to distract ourselves from the more important work at hand which is to create a compelling service and great user experience for millions of people around the world. While our business model is in a research phase, we spend more money than we make."

But let's look at the looming scenario of an ad-based revenue future. Remember a little social networking site called Facebook? Yes, the one that started off as a side project of a Harvard student that gained popularity and ran out of investment money? Well it also had to move to an ad-based revenue system and that hasn't slowed it down at all. Like you said, the entire population of Earth is Facebooked. Twitter will not die if/when it resorts to advertisements.

5. Twitter can be duplicated- Of course it can. Everything on the web can. YouTube has countless carbon-copy video hosting sites that act as competition. MySpace, Facebook, Squidoo, Hi5, and a HUGE list of other social networking sites do essentially the exact same things. Wikipedia, being the holy grail of knowledge that it is, even says that Twitter has competition.

6. Miscellaneous points- First and foremost, let me point out that my mad dash for obtaining more followers is warranted on the grounds that if I beat my boss to 200 followers he will take me to lunch. My second argument is your claim that Twitter is only "kind of fun" and only useful for journalists. Wrong. Let me give you my perspective. My fascination with Twitter comes from a public relations standpoint. Twitter gives anyone the unique opportunity for to interact one on one with other people that they would normally never get the opportunity too. Need an example? The company I work for holds not only active, instant customer service through Twitter but also has direct Q&A sessions with our company CEO. Anyone from major companies like Ford to smaller companies like Chegg.com take active rolls in engaging with their public- which to me is the entire point of Twitter.

Blake Bishop sent me a tweet earlier today asking for a rebuttal to your blog, Tyson. Initially I intended on writing a simplified response on your new page but soon found that my thoughts couldn't be contained in a 1500 word box. All summed up, I really think that Twitter is more than just a "status update." While the functionality of literally anything is in the eye of the beholder, I can guarantee that Twitter is much more than the stereotypical social networking site. It has proven itself to be a bold, new way to approach social networking and personal communication- so much in fact that even Facebook's latest release (of which I am currently working on a piece) was modelled heavy after.

So there you have it. If anyone made it this far in what is now the longest blog post I have ever done, I am sorry... you can't have 15 minutes of your life back.

- Chad

Google's Most Important Websites (Nerd Alert!)

2009-03-11T23:38:00.000-07:00

Google has some pretty nifty free gadgets. Among those is a complicated algorithm developed at Stanford University called Page Rank. Basically this little doodad measures the popularity and importance of websites based on a scale from 1 (lowest) to 10 (highest). 1-3 is most common while a 10 is incredibly hard to achieve. All of the ranking is done by a super complex math/computer formula that wikipedia tried to explain to me (but failed terribly).

My curious side kicked in though as I began to wonder what websites were ranked at the coveted 10 out of 10 spot. The list is quite small:

Kinda interesting what made the list and what didn't. I thought a few currently popular sites like twitter.com or apple.com would have made the cut. But I can't even get past the wiki page. If any of you know of additional websites that rank a 10, let me know.

Chad

50 Successful Blog Posts!

2009-03-07T17:35:00.000-08:00

No, you didn't read that title wrong! This blog post marks the 50th time I have posted something on my blog and you have come to read it! Wow! What an adventure it's been, eh gang?

As of right now, 50 full, robust posts have been made on the DailyDerbi following absolutely no rhyme or reason. On top of that, a grand total of 153 comments have been left. Wow! Lets take a look back at some of my favorites, shall we?

I am so jealous of you going to Macworld. Be careful, or I might kill and impersonate. (Dec. 27th, 2008)
Black people are still pissed about slavery. Asians hate Miley. White people are in debt. What next? (Feb. 18th, 2009)
Oh but you DO lie Chad! And I know exactly when you're lying... AND what kind of gay do you mean? Who says that? (Dec. 2nd, 2008)
Just for reason number two, I declare my undying allegiance to your blog once more. (Dec. 2nd, 2008)
What is svitzing? Do I not know this because I don't live in Provo? (Jan. 24th, 2009)
Love it Chad. You had me with Richard Johnson's title, and took it all the way home with "Black to the Future". May your children be blessed because of your wisdom. (Nov. 15th, 2009)
No offense to your noble steed, but how much was that radio really worth? (Oct. 26, 2008)
Did you jump off any cliffs my friend? (Aug. 8th, 2008)

Wow! If you made that list congrats! You're a funny person. But in all seriousness, thanks to all 6 of my readers and followers (that's you) for helping me change the DailyDerbi from just another person's boring blog about their life to something more uniq... damn.

To celebrate and convey my deepest thanks, I have personally invited Kool & The Gang to perform a musical diddy for us. Wow!

Kool & The Gang - Celebration
Uploaded by Kool-and-the-Gang

Thanks, Kool. And once again, thank you! And before you go, don't forget to leave a celebratory comment below!

Until next time/probably Tuesday,

- Chad

Wow!

A PR & Social Media Delight

2009-03-05T19:38:00.000-08:00

Skittles.com has rocked my world. While I am not a huge fan of the colorful lumps of sugar, the brand's latest website has truly given new meaning to "thinking outside the box." Skittles.com has launched a new type of homepage that I can appreciate both as an active PR student and a social networking practitioner.

The new site is simple, yet oddly confusing due to it's bold, unfamiliar new concept. When you first log on the site will ask you for your age using the hip, young phrase, "Spill it." The other element that is instantly noticeable is that Skittles.com is actually just their own Wikipedia article. That one caught me off guard.

In fact, all of the navigation on the Skittles "website" is comprised of popular websites, primarly social networking pages. The navigation is done via a small red box near the top right of the screen and list several areas to choose from: Home, Products, Media, Chatter, Friends, and Contact. Each of these options will take you to a website that is operating independently from Skittles but still has plenty of information and feedback relevant to the company and it's product.

Wow! The folks over at Skittles really did a number here. I can just picture the pitch: "Hey, lets not spend money on designing a tasteful candy website (ha, see what I did there). Instead lets just post links to websites that are a lot hotter than ours could ever be but are just as informative and relevant!"

And holy cow, it worked. With the exception of their "Products" and "Contact" section, Skittles.com visitors can navigate to Twitter, Wikipedia, Facebook and YouTube- all of which involve Skittles. For example, if you click on the "Friends" tab, your browser will take you to Skittles' Facebook page.

It's an incredibly simple concept that has made me double think about how PR and advertising should be done. I can only imagine that this candy company has acted as the match that falls on a barrel of gasoline. How many companies will try to recreate or copy this idea? Most, I think.

Skittles, although I am not a fan of your product, my hat is off to you.

Chad

A Hot New Band For You!

2009-02-28T21:47:00.000-08:00

I love finding new bands. Seriously, nothing makes my day better than finding some music that hits the bullseye of my music loving senses. And just a few days ago that happen to me! How excited was I to find a grand new band? Well pretty darn excited you can bet.

The name of the band is Owl City. Terrible name, awesome music. In fact, after listening to this band I am pretty sure that the more terrible a name is the better the music will be. That being said, I have already searched (with high hopes) for a band called Stuper's Underdog Circus Radicals... didn't happen.

Anyways, Owl City sounds very Postal Service'esk- but on steroids. So without further adieu, here are my two favorite songs from Owl City:

Panda Bear

On The Wing

If you loved those eight minutes of musical nirvana, you should go buy Owl City's albums on iTunes. Or, if your cheap like me, YouTube Owl City and get it for free!

Chad

Need help understanding the recession and baleout?

2009-02-26T20:04:00.000-08:00

Lend me 13 minutes of your time and attention:

This post isn't a rant. This post isn't a biased opinion piece. This post is about something that I have found very helpful to me. The world is in an severe economic recession. And like many people across America (and the world for that matter), I have had a lot of trouble understanding the events that lead up to the economic recession we are currently in the middle of. There seems to be a lot of elements to this situation brimming with complexity and ambiguity.

Through the course of this recession I have always felt like this situation was much bigger than me or my understanding. Then I found a video called "The Crisis of Credit." It is a short, animated film explaining the events that lead America to the situation on hand.

While I am sure there are far more underlying factors than just those mentioned, this excellent visual summary help me put everything that I have heard on TV, in newspapers, and on the radio into a manageable context.

The Crisis of Credit Visualized from Jonathan Jarvis on Vimeo.

So there you have it. That is the economic crisis we are experiencing daily. It's funny how small things can lead to such a tremendous problem and scary that it can affect international institutions that are seemingly stable.

Chad

Larry H. Miller Dies

2009-02-21T00:35:00.000-08:00

Utah Jazz owner, Jordan Commons proprietor, and car lot extraordinaire Larry H. Miller died at 64 today. It is a sad story especially because just a little while ago he became a double amputee after loosing both legs to diabetes.

RIP Larry H Miller

Chad

P.S. I don't know why I posted this. But I guess... after all, I knew this guy.

Poor Miley Cyrus

2009-02-18T22:09:00.000-08:00

I am in no way an advocate of defending ridiculous celebrity behavior. I think Christian Bale (warning: extreme language) has proven himself to be a complete waste of space and a total douche. I think Chris Brown has pretty much ended anything he had going for him by beating up his girlfriend Rihanna.

But two weeks ago entertainment giant TMZ released a picture of Miley Cyrus and her friends making funny faces at a camera. Here is the picture:

In it, Miley is clearly pulling her eyes back making a squinty-eyed face at the camera. And guess what! Yups, that's right- thousands of Asians got super offended. Multiple Asian rights groups have stepped forward comdeming the picture claiming it is offensive and mocks Asian heritage.

But wait- the best is yet to come!

On the 12th, a women from L.A., one Lucie J. Kim, filed a class-action law suit again Cyrus "on behalf of 1 million people of Asian Pacific Islander descent in the Los Angeles area." And what's are the damages? Take a breath and sit down... $4 billion. Yes, you read that right. Kim is filing a law suit for $4 billion in damages. The worst part about this is the reality of the situation. This is a real law suit. Kim has hired a real legal team with real lawyers.

Is it just me or is something wrong here? Personally, I try not to exhibit any racist qualities but I am human and sometimes an offcolored, racey joke will slip here and there. But I can tell anyone in doubt that 16-year-old Miley Cyrus was ablsolutely not, in any way, shape, or form, trying to mock or degrade anyone of Asian descent with this photo.

The world has become too politically correct and it terrifies me that anyone with only half a brain and an oversensitive, media molded mind can do things like sue for $4 billion. I really do feel bad for Miley. No 16-year-old should have to deal with something like this, especially when she was just being 16 years old. Man, if I was getting sued for every funny face I have made or offcolored remark I would be screwed.

To end, I think Cyrus summed up the situation best in a statement she made just days after the photo was released and the media/Asian community grilled her: “People are making something out of nothing. I was simply making a goofy face.”

Chad

P.S. A post about a celebrity is really odd for me but this was just to good of an example about out of control political correctness in America.

P.P.S. I do not mean to say that every single Asian person found this picture offensive. In fact I think it is just a very select few who have decided to come forward, blow this out of proportion and represent an entire race in a unwanted way.

I love The Soup

2009-02-11T21:49:00.000-08:00

Comedian Joel McHale and his hilarious show, The Soup, have had some really, really funny moments in their history. But tonight I stumbled a clip that made me laugh harder than any Soup clip in the history of the show. This is, without a doubt, the most bizarre thing I have ever seen on TV and for some reason had me laughing till I cried. Without further adieu, I give you Spaghetti Cat:

Thanks Soup!

Chad

P.S. Don't believe it was real? Scroll to the bottom of this.

Holy Crap STOP IT!

2009-02-08T11:13:00.000-08:00

At first I was only going to leave this as a very annoyed Facebook status. But, now that I have posted my grievances on Facebook, the problem has gone all cold war on me and escalated very quickly to something that will probably lead to nuclear war:

STOP POSTING THOSE DAMN 25 RANDOM THINGS NOTES!!!

I mean seriously! Have you nothing better to do with your time than find out who likes all bright colors but LOVES Orange. How on Earth does that benefit the human race in any degree? I don't want to be tagged, regarded as, marked to be, or know as the person who "loves to laugh because it is the best thing...ever."

I love Facebook. I love democracy and freedom. But when you put those two things together the potential to produce an unrelenting juggernaut of incomprehensible non-sense like a 25 random thing note is far to great for an attention starved 17-year-old high school junior to wield.

Chad

P.S. Seriously please, please, please leave me out of any 25 note that you may consider writing. And if you are considering writing a 25 note please, please, please, sit down, re-evaluate your life and find if this is really the road you want to go down.

The top 5 Super Bowl commercials this year!

2009-02-04T19:13:00.000-08:00

In the past, all of my posts on this blog have involved some sort of serious undertone expressing my opinion on the topic, a pressing issue, or tips to living a better, more fruitful life. But just like the title suggests, this post will have nothing but tomfoolery and nonsense as I count down the top five funniest super bowl commercials aired during Super Bowl XLIII. And the winners are...

#5 (Tie) Coca Cola Heist: This video is just cool.

#5 (Tie) Conan O'Brien Bud Light: I love this man.

#4. MacGruber and Pepsi: If you have ever seen the MacGruber sketches on SNL then you will love this. Also, that is the real MacGyver at the door!

#3. E-Trade Babies: Bahahahahaha

#2. Mean Troy Paulumalu: For those who remember the Mean Joe Greene Coca-Cola commercial back in the day, this is BRILLIANT!

#1. Career Builder: Three words: Thank you CareerBuilder.

Honorable Mentions: These commercials came close but didn't have enough to make the top five. And because of this we won't even give them their own video space but a lowly link instead.

#1. Cars.com

#2. Cash for Gold The first 30 seconds of this commercial were amazing. But the entire crew must have gotten fired and replaced by C-SPAN during the second half cause it just gets boring.

Reporting in between homework,
Chad

P.S. A public shout out to Tyson Call for a "mini" adventure.

Three fundamental Flaws in Utah Dating

2009-01-24T23:06:00.000-08:00

A few days ago Mr Nathan Bagley, a fellow PR student and successful blogger, showed me a blog entitled "Why Mormon Girls Stay Single." The blog is somewhat lighthearted, mostly poking fun at the complexity and unspoken standards that make up the world of LDS dating. On the other hand, however, it does bring up some very valid problems with the current dating scene. Problems that turn dating- an experience that should be a mutually fun experience for two people- into a sticky, un-fun ball of hassle.

I started thinking about some of the things that I dislike most about the process of finding a member of the opposite sex to mate for life with and came up with three big flaws. All of these problems are mostly relevant towards the first date but can surface at other times too. So here we go:

Originality: Not only for dating in Utah but included in the entire Mormon dating scene is some unwritten law that says dates must be very original- something that has never been done before. If the girl isn't treated to a bold new idea that the guy spent hours coming up with then the date hasn't crashed and burned- it hasn't even taken off the ground. The days are long gone when a movie, dinner, or both was a fun way to get to know someone. I love movies. I love going out to eat. And to me, killing two birds with one stone is usually the way to go; but not if the stone is the date and the birds are the girl's hopes for skydiving, Color Me Mine, or svitzing...(I don't know what that is).
Notification: Apparently to date a girl in Utah you must give her at least one week notice prior to the actual date itself. Why? Why is it that I can't call up a girl the day of and say "Hey, would you like to go svitzing tonight?" With the exception of high school dances, the last minute dates are the only dates I have ever known. I don't know what the hell I am doing in one week. Most of the time I don't even know what I am doing in one night. I don't enjoy feeling like I have to schedule an appointment with a secretary to get to know someone. Seriously girls, take the last minute date cause that is what 93% of guys will ask for. (Yes, I did have some inspiration for "Why Mormon Girls Stay Single" on this one.)
Girls Asking Guys: Girls are always complaining about why guys won't ask them out or how they haven't been on a date for days and days. There is a simple solution to this: take matters into your own smaller, feminine hands and ask a guy out. There is no law, nor has one ever existed for that matter, that says a guy has to do all of the asking. In fact, many guys get 100% burnt out of asking girls and this is why you don't get your dating canteen filled. Girls, if you are interested in a guy, GO FOR IT! Ask him out. I promise you that showing some backbone like that will get you much further with someone your interested in than whining about how you never get asked out.

So there you have it. Three fundamental flaws in Utah dating. I am confident that if every girl in Utah read my blog the dating scene would change drastically for the better. But I know that won't happen and only about half of the girls in Utah will read this. Either way, if you don't like what was said let me know through a comment or a thrown brick. If you love it, just let me know through a comment.

Chad

P.S. Svitzing

Facebook Girl And More!

2009-01-21T22:02:00.000-08:00

Here it is! After lots of recording with our band, The Accidental Goodbye, we have managed to come up with five great songs, two of which are originals. And no other song has been more requested than our number one hit "Facebook Girl". If you would like a free copy of this amazing song (which was recorded and edited last night in a record breaking 4 hours) then click this link to Mr. Britton Kowalk's blog (I can't songs for downloading on my blog):

http://www.brittonkowalk.com/blog/

Feel free to leave feedback and comments about the song. And a big thanks to all my readers who actually read this blog and follow loyally and blindly! If not for you this blog would probably be the same...just a lot less appreciated.

Chad

Pandora to have audio ads

2009-01-21T17:39:00.000-08:00

Apparently Pandora is going to add audio advertising to the free customizable internet radio station. Pandora says the ads won't be too "intrusive" but I don't really see how an advertisement interrupting your music lineup could pass off as none-intrusive.

There also isn't any word if the change will affect the iPhone application. Either way, I don't think people should complain too much due to the fact that this service is free in the first place. Pandora has to pay the bills somehow and I think many users knew that this kind of shift was coming.

What do you think?

Chad

New Attractive Hot Girl of the Week

2009-01-15T22:38:00.000-08:00

Rashida Jones. Best known for her role as Karen on The Office, Rashida is hot in a "hey, look at me, I am not trying to look hot at all" sort of way. But dang.

This is a totally gratuitous post so if you're mad about the lack of any serious literary, artistic, political, or scientific value then...well... I am sorry- she is hot.

Thinking I may have found someone to take Jennifier Aniston's place,

Chad

P.S. If you have any suggestions on things I should talk about, review, or give my opinion feel free to shoot me your thoughts. Also, don't forget to leave comments. If you don't have a comment just leave your name. I will feel loved.

Go To Hell George Lucas

2009-01-13T22:36:00.000-08:00

Everyone knows that George Lucas has lost it. It's no secret that Lucas was in his Hollywood prime somewhere around the "Star Wars: A New Hope" era. And it's certainly not a secret that his career has only been heading downhill since then. Only "Raiders of the Lost Ark" and "Return of the Jedi" gave Lucas brief recalls of his original Star Wars glory days, not succumbing to ridiculous stories, nonsensical plot twist, and absolutely horrendous screenwriting.

As odd of a legacy as Lucas has created for himself- one that is in a constant downward spiral to the the city sewers- nothing could prep me up for his latest piece of work. Nearly twenty years after the last film in the trilogy was released, George Lucas took it upon himself to make a fourth and final film in the Indiana Jones series.

And OMFG, what an epic fail.

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull was released in May, 2008 and up until tonight I have heard nothing but negative criticism about the movie. In fact, the previews, reviews, and horrendous word of mouth was enough for me to take a vow of Crystal Skull abstinence. But tonight that vow was broken and all my greatest fears were confirmed. In the first five minutes the movie not only failed to make a good impression but automatically reeked of pungent, musky George Lucas-which is not a good thing.

I will spare my loyal readers from a full plot synopsis, but I will give you some of the highlights that made this movie something equivalent to Hitler, AIDS or even Hitler with AIDS.

Aliens- I am surprised that I was surprised that George Lucas took the film in this direction. I mean seriously, it's in his blood. Not only was an alien based story the sign of a total lack of creativity and a typical fallback plot (like how LOST will probably end up being a big dream), but it was also an attempt by Lucas to be a complete douche bag and leave his unique mark all over his movie. It's the Hollywood equivalent of a cat peeing on a tree to mark it's territory.
CG- Alternate title for the movie: Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of Bastardized Computer Graphics. I miss real explosions and real scenes- doesn't matter what type of scene. Just as long as it's not made in a computer program.
Shia LeBouff- Or however the hell you spell his name.
Nuclear Bomb- One of the opening scenes had Indiana Jones hide in a refrigerator to escape a nuclear blast several hundred feet away, then getting blown miles away and emerging unscratched. Oppenheimer is rolling in his grave...
Shia LeBoof- A scene involving him swinging on vines with monkeys in a jungle during a dreadful car chase.
3 Waterfalls- Just one was bad enough...
Shela Beoof- And every scene he was in.
Giant man eating fireants, poison-dart blowing monkeymen, Russians, and the ability for bad guys to NEVER hit Indy with their guns...no matter how many guys are shooting at him or how close they are.
The first hour of the movie.
Shialabof
Using a big snake a rope.
The last hour of the movie.
Especially the last 30 minutes of the movie- Holy %$#@ it was unbelievable that Paramount, Viacom, Spielberg, and the American public let that happen.
Shia LaBeouf

This movie was dreadful. It had terrible screenwriting. It had a terrible plot. It had absolutely no substance. It had Shia. And worst of all it had aliens- crystal skull aliens. The magnitude of how bad this film was hit me when South Park devoted a whole episode entirely to "the raping of the Indiana Jones" series. An entire episode! Even so, South Park and my angered words will never be able to give Kingdom of the Crystal Skull the proper justice it so fully deserves. Only watching the movie can give a person the proper respect for how monumentally terrifying Lucas's work is. But in this rare case I recommend that no one views the film in any form and instead go home, tell your spouse and family that you love them, and then buy a years food supply because if Lucas strikes again we can be sure society will self-implode and Shia will resort to cannibalism.

Reporting astounded,

Chad

P.S. This movie is now the #1 worst movie I have ever seen. In fact, I now want to go see Twilight because I am convinced this movie will make every other film look amazing.

A Grand Week

2009-01-12T22:43:00.000-08:00

As most of you know for the week of January 5th-9th, my company, i.TV, flew me out to San Francisco with four other co-workers to represent our company at Macworld. All summed up, I had an absolute blast. Not only did I have the opportunity to eat at obscure restaurants, see the touristy sites, and do some shopping; but from a business and educational perspective I also learned a lot from my time in the Prius capitol of the world. I got to spend lots of time with i.TV's public relations guy, Justin, which taught me a lot about what a PR person does and exactly what the job consist of on a daily basis- something schooling has yet to teach me.

It was also fun to interact with people at Macworld. So many people seemed genuinely interested in our product and most were friendly, talkative, and interesting. We even got to talk to folks from various media including magazines, newspapers, and television. At one point a Canadian TV crew interviewed Justin, our fearless leader, but told

him "not to be nervous because it was just Canadian TV." Plus Sinbad stopped by and even asked for a demo! I, however, was out for lunch when he payed us a visit. But I am totally satisfied that my Gardenburger was well worth missing a celebrity appearance.

Of course, it was neat to roam around Macworld and pretend to understand all of the products, programs, and hardware I saw...which I didn't...at all. There were lots of basic vendors; headphone companies, iPod accessory people, and printer manufacturers. There were also really confusing vendors. SplashData remote iPhone desktop synchronization application software? Ya, I had no idea what on Earth that that meant either. In fact, there were few products that I could truly relate too. Macworld is indeed a home for tech-geeks.

I am worried that my week in San Francisco was a bad standard to judge any future business trips by. Needless to say, the bar has been set really, really high. I got to see a fascinating city. I got to eat at wonderful restaurants, diners, and cafes. I got to spend four nights in a four star hotel (easily the nicest hotel I have ever stayed at). I also got to see the $878.00 bill for my four night stay at the really nice hotel. And the best part? Nearly everything was "on the company".

What am awesome week. It was such a good experience in so many different ways and I am fully aware of the unique opportunity that had presented itself to me. I know of a hundred other people who would have killed to be in my spot yet somehow I was lucky enough to score an awesome experience.

Reporting from a cold bedroom,

Chad

P.S. Thanks i.TV! Also, as a promised, a shout-out to the Browns for reading my blog!

Chad, i.TV, MacWorld, and Sinbad

2009-01-08T22:20:00.001-08:00

That title basically sums up my day at MacWorld in gay old San Fran. It was another long day, although the shortest yet, at the MacWorld convention. The highlight certainly came with when TV/Movie legend Sinbad came over to our booth and asked for a demo! As luck would have it, I was off somewhere else cocking about while my co-workers chatted with the Sinbad.

The day did prove to be fun, however, as I got some shopping done in a some local stores. Our hotel is located a block away from the HUGE San Francisco mall and hundreds of other small fashion shops (H&M is literally across the street). Now I am going to crash because I am 100% wasted from a long day on my feet. I will hope that the 15-man Starbucks union on strike won't wake me up tomorrow morning at 7 AM as they have the past few days.

Chad

C.W. S.F. Part Duex!

2009-01-06T22:08:00.000-08:00

Hey all. So today was the first day of our MacWorld conference and all I can say is "holy crap". I have never geeked out so bad in my life. It is really fun being here and since I am labeled as an "exhibitor" and not as a "visitor" I feel a higher sense of authority as people would notice my big red name tag as I wandered around.

The convention was actually about the size I expected it to be- freaking huge. There are TONS of companies, big and small, including i.TV and it is neat to see all of the

innovation that is coming from these crazy smart individuals who know computers much better than I ever will.

The high point of my day was having so, so many people walk by our booth and interrupt a conversation I would be in just to tell me how much they loved i.TV. I seriously mean this when I say that not one time throughout the day did we receive anything negative towards our company or product. Rather neat.

Anyways, I am going to crash real early. After the convention I still had to write my daily content for the program and as of ten minutes ago I had been working for a grand total of 14 hours! Rent, consider yourself paid.

Chad

P.S. I have taken lots of pictures but I forgot to bring my camera cord to upload them. Instead you will have to do with vivid HD camera phone pictures of my luxurious hotel room and the Back to the Future DeLorean at MacWorld.

C.W. S.F.

2009-01-05T09:13:00.000-08:00

Today, at approximately 4:45 pm, I will be taking off on an airplane (probably a Boeing 737) from S.L.C. Airport and heading towards an exciting week in San Francisco. What will I be doing there? In fact, the question that should be asked is what won't I be doing there?

Apparently my iPhone application making company, i.TV, thinks I am half qualified enough to represent them at the holy grail of Mac fanboy and geek conventions known only as MacWorld. So I get to go on a fully paid, 5 day, booth manning business trip starting today!

I won't lie, I feel old and mature because of this business trip. But in reality, I am pretty sure that my superiors are just sending me as the scape goat in case everyone hates our application and my "What's Hot" writing. Regardless, I am going and it will be a neat experience. I will post pictures, stories of adventures, and other miscellaneous items during my next week in gay, hybrid capitol of the world.

Chad

P.S. I am have also made a point to visit several districts in San Francisco; the Castro, the Fillmore, and the Tenderloin. Wait...Castro Fillmore Tenderloin. Crap...

Talk About a Reset For the Broncos

2008-12-30T21:32:00.000-08:00

So this will be a completely gratuitous post as I am sure that none of my readers are devoted football watchers let alone hardcore Denver Broncos fans like myself. So none of you will be shocked at this:

Mike Shanahan was fired from his position as Broncos head coach today.

It is with great regret mixed with hints of relief that we watch him go. Shanahan was a 14 year Bronco veteran and helped Denver to their first and only two Super Bowl titles in 97 and 98. He had an reputation for being a factory that produced absolutely amazing running backs (Terrel Davis, Clinton Portis, Eddie Royal- and that's just from what I can remember). He even had a 146-89 career record with the Broncos.

Even with such a record, however, it was time for him to go. Why? Well there are several reasons and most of them start at the end of the glorious "Elway Era". After John and most of the 98 super bowl roster retired, traded, or left, the Broncos had a hard time recovering from the sudden lack of superstars. And it showed. From 98' to the end of the season this year Shanahan had only one postseason victory under his belt! That is flat-out embarrassing.

Another problem presented itself when the Broncos couldn't seem to find a decent quarterback. In the 10 years after winning the 98' title, they had used Bubby Brister, Brian Gresie, Jake Plummer, and most recently, Jay Cutler. All were inconsistent at best with only Cutler offering reasonable promise. And inconsistent is what the Broncos were for nearly a decade. Overzealous offensive coordinators, an incapable offense, and a coach with a knack for trying 4th downs proved to be Denver's downfall season after season.

The 2008 season for the Bronocs marked the third year of not making the playoffs after loosing last week's deciding game for the AFC West playoff spot to the Chargers. It was clear that a stagnant team needs some fresh air. The over aggressive and accident-prone offense needs to control their output of "large" plays and learn the meaning of the words "steady drive". The defense, while amazing at times and terrible at others, needs and overhaul in hopes of achieving consistency. And finally, we need special teams that dare to venture pass the 20 yard touchback line.

And how will any of this be accomplished? Get rid of old blood, bring in new ideas.

So what should Broncos fans expect next year? Offensively, look for the lack of huge play attempts every down and better pocket defense. On the defensive hand expect a better running defense. And for special teams...well just expect them to show up. Needless to say, it will take time for a new coach and defensive/offensive coordinators to adjust and tweak the team back into the versatile AFC West force we new them to be years back. And what will become of Mike Shanahan? With a track record as good as his and more experience under his belt than any other coach in the NFL, he should have no trouble finding another job turning around a troubled team. Coach Shanahan of the Lions...has a good ring...

Feeling like a really cool sports reporter,

Chad

A Long, Serious, But Rewarding Post.

2008-12-27T11:05:00.000-08:00

There are three things that can basically sum up the content of my life at the present:

Anticipating the New Year party at D. Till's
Working/Writing A LOT
Digging my car out of its parking spot because it is stuck in the snow literally every other day.

And you know what? Life is good. A feeling that seems to be rather scarce these days. Over the last two months I found it very hard to get into a Christmas spirit with good will towards men, peace on Earth, and not playing my drums too late so that I didn't irritate the neighbors. And this problem didn't reside just with me but, I am sure, for loads of people across the nation.

This season people found it harder to be cheerful in such hard economic times. Holiday cheer was scared away any time you would turn on TV or whenever you would go shopping. Elements of the terrible economy were everywhere. Gas prices were, and still are, plummeting. Scores of stores were offering insane deals (often at a loss to them) to try and bait people to spend their money there.

Such a terrible economy lead to one of the worst shopping seasons in history- not in "years" or in a "decade"- but in history! January 8th is the target date for several research firms to finish a report completely analysing the slump that was this year's shopping season, but initial surveys have found that on average businesses conducted nearly 25% less business compared to several years previous. 25%! That is absolutely astounding and terrifying.

And the worst part isn't ever close. Nearly every economist predicts the eye of the storm hasn't passed but is on it's way. The government is stepping in and trying to curb many institutions from going bankrupt with the $700,000,000,000 (that's a lot of zeros, I know) bailout plan with well over a trillion more planned in the future. The act of government intervention means the concept of a "free market" and a capitalistic society has failed us and cannot work, let alone thrive, as hoped by generations

So why the recap on all of the bad news? It seems the media does enough to ensure us that America has reached the end of the tracks and that a slow economy is essentially the same as Armageddon. Any light at the end of the tunnel has been extinguished, American citizens are helpless at the hands of an uncontrollable situation, and your only option is to stay tuned to see what's next.

So why is life good for me? But none of that last paragraph is true.

History shows that pressurization has ALWAYS forced adaptation. We are not at the end of anything. Sure a few ways of life may change. We might have to tighten our financial belts, we may have to sacrifice that new 40" LCD TV, and maybe even take the bus places. But a bad economy doesn't mean the air we breath will disappear and life as we know it come to an end.

Human nature is that of an inventive one and we will find new solutions to an old problem. This holiday season don't let the media, economic situation, or any other problem that seems to be all to prevalent and out of your control distract your from living your life and enjoying what you do have at the moment. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Chad

P.S. Two things. First, for those of you who don't know, I am now writing a section for my company's iPhone application (i.TV) called the "What's Hot" section. It really cool because I update it every night and literally hundreds of thousands, if not even millions, of people read it. Cool!

Second, on January 6-9 my company is sending me as a representative to Mac World in San Fransisco. Its basically a really nerdy, all expenses paid, business trip and I am looking way forward to it.

3 reasons why Al Gore was wrong.

2008-12-22T12:25:00.001-08:00

1. Because it's snowing really freaking hard right now! And it has been for the last week!

Outside of my apartment right now.

OMG LOL look at the snow, ROFL.

2. Because I am so freaking cold right now.

3. Because ManBearPig.

Chad

The Top 5 Greatest Christmas Songs Ever

2008-12-11T14:00:00.000-08:00

Tis the season for Christmas lights, trees, and songs. Last week I brought you the five worst songs ever made to celebrate Christmas. This week, however, I bring you the best of the best. Unlike the last weeks list, these songs, for the most part, will not be judged by "who" sang it but rather on their content and ability to put you into that Christmas mood. Here they are, the top five best Christmas songs ever made:

#5. Silver Bells- This song earned the number five spot simply because it's lyrics encompass a majority of Christmas feelings and activities so well. "City sidewalks, busy sidewalks, dressed in holiday style. In the air there's a feeling of Christmas". That opening to the song describes so well the aura that come with the winter holidays. My recommended performance: Bing Crosby and Carol Richards.

#4. Winter Wonderland- Just like when you hear Silver Bells, Winter Wonderland can't help but put you in a Christmas mood. While this song is totally unrelated to the birth of Christ, one can't help but love the upbeat and happy tone it brings. It is a classic. My recommended performance: The Carpenters.

#3. The Carol of the Bells- To me, there is no other song that puts me in the Christmas mood more. Carol of the bells has not only been performed beautifully by scores of artists but it breaks away from the happy and bright aura that other traditional songs bring, replacing it with a seemingly darker and more sincere message. The lyrics are wonderful, almost every rendition does the song justice, and it tends to get stuck in your head for long periods. Long enough in fact to earn itself a number three spot. My recommended performance (and making it on this list for the second time): The Carpenters.

You might also want to check this out.

#2. Silent Night- Wow. What a great song. A song that not only encompasses what Christmas is about entirely but also lacks any flare or jazz. Just solemn, quite, and meaningful. My recommended artist: Enya (Although the lyrics are not in English, she does the song to much justice)

And now for the best Christmas Song.......in the world:

#1. The Christmas Cannon by Trans-Siberian Orchestra- Simply put, this song is stunning. Soaring lyrics and beautiful music combine together to create this Christmas masterpiece. Essentially all that Trans-Siberian Orchestra has done is adapted a favorite classical music piece for a piano to an orchestra and stapled an otherwise creepy little kid choir throughout the song and boom! You have a brilliant, catchy, and original song that screams Christmas from start to end. Hear the Christmas Cannon for yourself: click here.

Report safely inside from the snowstorm (about bloody time),

Chad

P.S. Thanks to Tyson Call for a stellar new banner and layout for the blog. You da man.

The Top 5 Worst Christmas Songs

2008-12-07T23:05:00.000-08:00

Christmas is a wonderful time of year. There are lights, presents, goodwill towards men, and, of course, music. But unfortunately all Christmas music is not up to par. Here are the top five worst Christmas songs ever made:

#5 Wonderful Christmastime by Paul McCartney- Now right off the bat I have offended many die-hard Beatles fans for kicking some mud on their untarnished "Paul McCartney" platter. Wonderful Christmas time is a synthesizer packed, "floating through spaceish", typical song from an era when sounds like that ruled the world in rabid packs. It is only considered a "Christmas" song because Sir McCartney used sleigh bells as a backup noise and inserted the word "Christmas" at various, random points.

#4 We Wish You a Merry Christmas by Ashanti- It is an absolute shame that this song was forced to make an appearance on this list, but Ashanti has made it possible with her lyric bending, over simplistic, and boring version of this traditional Christmas classic. "Now bring us some milk and cookies"??? What on Earth did figgy pudding to do deserve that switch, Ms. Ashanti?

#3 Santa Clause is Coming To Town by Bruce Springsteen- Just like the song above, I hate to put such a great song on a bad list. If you have never heard this song before, just know that Bruce redoes the song to add a wonderful "all-American", redneck meets hard rock jazz feel to it. Wanna experience it for yourself? Click Here

#2 Please Daddy (Don't Get Drunk For Christmas) by John Denver- Stereotypical country song lyrics meet a failed attempt to create a sentimental Christmas song. Need I say more?

And now, the WORST Christmas song ever made....

#1 The Christmas Shoes by Newsong- I don't even know how to express my feelings for this song. Over emotional? Ridiculous story? Sappy? None of these songs do The Christmas Shoes the justice it deserves. This song about a small boy buying shoes for his cancer-ridden and dying mom is not only completely unrelated to Christmas but is so depressing you wish you were the one dying. In fact, in Tom Reynold's 2006 book I Hate Myself and Want to Die: The 52 Most Depressing Songs You've Ever Heard, he names "The Christmas Shoes" as the most depressing song in modern recorded music history.

Moral of the story- if you want to have a Christmas with less meaning, tradition, and enjoyability then put these five songs on and you will be set to go.

Chad

P.S. I will have a top 5 best Christmas songs list coming shortly. Stay tuned!

For The Fat Man On eHarmony

2008-12-02T13:13:00.000-08:00

I don't like trends. In fact, I hate the idea of a trend becoming a trend because people have been told to participate. Status quo, my friends, is a powerful thing.

Nowhere are trends more prevalent than on the Internet. Facebook, for example, is always asking me to join some random "world record" group I have no connection with or add an application for speed dating and determining my favorite friends. The understanding of fashion has always eluded me. The High School Musical appeal will forever remain a mystery for me. And finally, Twilight takes the cake for a lame, trendy flick that every girl must see. For the most part I think trends are "flat-out dumb". My reasons for expressing my anti-trend sentiment? It is, simply put, because of a friend's last blog post asking me to participate in an online trend that I find ridiculous.

Apparently someone (probably an overweight World of Warcrafter who wanted to learn more about his eHarmony matches) proposed that six bloggers of their choice write a blog about six traits that make them who they are. You must explain the traits in detail and why they are unique to you and your personality and then tell six other bloggers to do exactly what you have just done. I think writing about your personality is a great subject for bloggers but forcing six others to recreate a near carbon copy post about the same subject is "flat-out dumb". Its like watching Hell's version of Pay It Forward.

But in the end I was tagged and I shall conform to an eTrend that contains as much popularity as it does nonsense. I will, however, be simplifying and lying:

My 6 Traits

I am sarcastic.
I am a conformist.
I never lie.
I am gay (but not in that way...)
The first thing I think is never the the first thing I say.
The more I learn, the less I "know".

So there you are. Ponder on those non-sensical traits for a while. In the mean time I wish to tag Britton Kowalk, Matt Showalter, Orinn Hatch, God, Wall-E, and Bono to participate in this project that will make you crave the last 15 minutes of your life back.

Chad

A Quick Thought

2008-11-23T23:12:00.000-08:00

Several days ago, on an elevator in the new Wells Fargo building near downtown Provo, an odd event occurred. It passed quick and was rather subtle but the effects had such an impact on me that I had to convey my thoughts in writing.

After pressing the 1 button to take me down two floors I pushed another button labed ">I<". It was the close door button on the elevator.

Nothing happened.

Finally, nearly 6 seconds after pressing the button to shut the doors, the elevator reacted and closed up. I did not regard the pause immediately but on the long 20 second ride down the reality of what had just happened hit me. "It must have been a fluke," I thought to myself.

When I reached my floor the doors opened and immediatly I decided to try closing the doors via the button again. After a swift push, the result was only an open door leading to a marble hallway. And there I was. Sitting befuddled and alone in an elevator that had been installed with a fake close door button. It was then I realized that because this elevator had this defect, all elevators must be the same.

So next time you enter an elevator with the sincere intentions of closing the doors before the 6 second time limit forces the procedure- know that you will only be made a fool and that the world is not quite what it seems.

Chad

I Don't Like This Direction

2008-11-18T13:17:00.001-08:00

Over the span of the last two years the automotive industry has taken a different direction with the styling of car and trucks they have been producing. Instead of defined edges and clear cut lines everything is now curvy and bulbous giving the illusion that a car is flowing somewhere- not driving. The xB is a perfect example:

The 2006 Scion xB or more commonly known as a toaster. Notice the defined lines and boxy shape.

This is the 2008 Scion xB model. It's all rounded off and disgusting.

The change has affected nearly every car, truck, mini-van, mini and van on the market.

A Mazda CX-7. Gross.

The terrifying Buick Enclave.

Many people seem to approve of this odd shift in the market and sometimes I feel like I am the black sheep because, for the most part, I think these cars look like total crap. What makes things worse is when a reputable car company tries to jump on board and produces something truly awful. I am, of course, talking about the new BMW X6. This crossover is just about the worst attempt at the "modern style" bastardization of a new genre of cars.

Now immediately many of you have told yourselves, "Chad! That is an awesome looking car and you are wrong!"

My response to you is this: "Well to each their own but you are just a fan boy and that car looks like my 10 minute meet up with the toilet last night."

BMW is great at what they do. Producing killer sports car with great designs and a performance to match is their creed that they live and die by. Their newest 3 series coupes are- quite frankly- sex on wheels. BMW has a great track record and it is a shame to see is spoiled with a creation like this. The X6 is the shining example of selling out and jumping on a bandwagon that suites 55 year old women with too much money and shopping time who thinks that a Buick Towncar is the high point of luxury.

The saddest part is that BMW should know better! Their attempt at an earlier crossover, the X3, was a joke. BBC hit show Top Gear said something to the effect that it's like it wants to be a large estate car and a capable off-roader at the same time and that it hasn't struck that balance at all.

Now we reach the end of this post where many of you have taken me out of your phonebooks on your mobiles and deleted me as an eFriend on Facebook so I have no shame in finalizing with my total biased opinion: anyone who like this car is most likely a BMW fan boy. Just like Mac fan boys or Dave Mathews Band fan boys or any fan boys at that, a person who loves BMW so much cannot see what a gross car this really is underneath all the Crossover+NewBodyStyles= God's Car hype.

Chad

P.S. Before I even posted this I have already lost 6.3 friends.

New Name For the White House?

2008-11-15T23:25:00.000-08:00

Washington D.C.- Worried Democratic supporters, along with equal rights activist, expressed concerns today regarding the name of the nations most famous home- the White House.

Aimed at suiting the soon to be president, Barack Obama, a rally was held on the famous Pennsylvania Ave. to have the name changed to the Black House.

"We want to continue the flawless tradition of being politically correct," says rally participator and aging liberal hippy douche Richard Johnson. "Whites have had their house since the country was formed. Now its a black persons turn."

With the president-elect taking office on January 20th of next year, the name change will prove the be the first large step in Obama's administration to prove that he can bring change. At the rally hundreds of signs could be seen reading slogans like "White isn't right" and "Black to the Future". The movement has gained national attention and is picking up momentum according to demonstrators at the rally.

However, despite the many supporters of the possible name change, some have expressed concern over the fact that Barack Obama doesn't have complete black ancestry. In a 2000 census Obama was listed as multi-racial caused from an interracial marriage between his mom, white, and his black father.

T.C. McMuffin, a self-titled political analyst from Detroit, disagrees with the movement. "You cannot label something if that label is false. To call the White House the Black House would be like calling Paris Hilton an actor/singer/role model. Call it the Grey House or the Chess Board House or anything as long as it is a true statement."

No statement has been issued from the Obama organization but it is widely speculated that the house name and the curtains will be changed when the new administration takes over.

A Quick 2008 Election Summary

2008-11-04T10:01:00.001-08:00

Today, November 4th, is election day. It is the day we decide who will become the next leader of the most influential, prosperous, and powerful nation in the world. With recent failure in the economy, the war in Iraq and a blizzard of other important issues, this election has proved to be one of the most crucial in the history of the United States. During this historic moment I thought it appropriate to give a quick summary of the events that have occurred to lead us to the election at hand.

It was well over a year and a half ago when I first heard the names of what would become the two presidential candidates running for office. On May 3rd, 2007 the Republicans held their first presidential candidate debate, bringing ten men from different backgrounds to the table to flaunt their views and qualifications and officially starting the 2008 presidential race. Holding their own debates as well, the Democrats, along with the Republicans, narrowed down the list of presidential potentials. Some candidates ideals didn't fly with the public, others ran out of campaign funds, and eventually by the start of 2008 we had a pretty good view of who would be left running for the office on both sides.

For the Republicans, Arizona senator John McCain and Massachusetts Governor Mitt Romey were the two most prominent candidates and both were rather unique in their own ways. First and foremost is the fact that McCain, in Republican eyes, is rather liberal and many in the Republican Party felt "betrayed" at his nomination. Romeny generated his own attention by being a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.

On the flip side, the Democrats had two groundbreaking candidates as well. New York Junior Senator Hillary Clinton was the first women to campaign so far with so much success. The mere idea of having a women run for office is something that would have been disregarded just a short time ago. The other candidate fighting for his name on the ticket was Barrack Obama. Like Clinton, Obama had similar experience serving as a Junior Senator from Illinois but made history by being the first black candidate.

After months of hard campaigning, two of the candidates earned enough state delegates to have their name on their parties ticket. McCain won his spot with the Republican party and Obama with the Democrats.

After their nominations, the two candidates began heavy campaigning, not against from their own party but against the other party's nominee. The 2008 elections have been unique due to the use of irregular marketing and advertising techniques. Dubbed "the youtube election", this years election has seen heavy use of viral advertising for campaigns on the internet. Using video sites like youtube, user-posted content pages like Digg, social networking sites like Facebook and Myspace, and even personal blogs, the candidates and their campaign teams were able to reach audiences that were once hard to reach, specifically teenagers and college students. Besides these new, somewhat unorthodox methods (which I am sure will become a campaigning standard in years to come) both political parties also used traditional marketing media. TV airspace was utilized more than ever, newspaper articles covered both party's progress, party propaganda was sent to many households, phone calls were made to persuade voters, and even Saturday Night Live jump on the bandwagon "covering" the elections as they usual do every four years (with Tina Fey's near identical representation of Sarah Palin took SNL's involvement, and perhaps persuasion, in this years election to a new level).

The campaign trail followed "traditional" unspoken rules, going from a campaign about "why you should vote for this candidate" to "why you shouldn't vote for that candidate". A party's political ads attacking the other party's nominee, their policies, religion, race, etc. eventually got to the point of being malicious (If you have a moment youtube "negative campaign ads" and watch a few of the results).

On August 22th, Barrack Obama officially announced his choice for vice president, Joe Biden, a senior senator from Delware. Exactly one week later on August 29th, John McCain annouced that his vice president would be the current governor of Alaska, Sarah Palin. With the vice presidents chosen for both sides the campaigns have entered the home stretch of their journey promoting both candidates to celebrity status.

Today the nation votes for its next leader. This election is not just for Americans, but a decision that will affect, quiet literally, every nation on Earth. The eyes of the world are fixed on the choices that we as a nation make today. Come January, the candidate who emerges as the winner will enter the White House as our next president and hopefully do all that they can to keep their promises made and promote the well-being, security, and prosperity of our great country.

Chad Waite

*I will have a second post in response to this in a few days. The response will be mainly focused on what we can expect from the next president of the United States*

Resolve + Randomness= This Post

2008-10-29T22:30:00.000-07:00

I realized that I have been slacking on the writing portion of producing blog posts, replacing most of my literary genius with the path of least resistance: photos. I have made a resolve to start writing again and not stuff my posts full of pictures. So look forward to.

To validate my promise I give you this: http://craigblonde.com/Pictures/launchingpig-e35.jpg

Enjoy,

Chad

San Francisco and Friends

2008-10-27T20:52:00.000-07:00

San Francisco. A city I knew nothing about except gay people got good gas mileage. The crown jewel of the bay area. The city that sleeps in. A town for the laid back sort of folks. As you have probably figured out I still don't know too much about San Francisco save the touristy spots.

Last week my family and I hit up all the spots of interest around the city for nearly five days. I had an absolute blast weaving our way through the scores of Asians and Toyota Prius's and found that San Fran had some really neat things to offer. Here are a few of my top picks:

The San Francisco Bushman. This homeless guy hides behind a fake bush and scares tourists. It was freaking awesome. My dad gave him 5 bucks.

Three kids and a car ride over.

Me in front of the Golden Gate Bridge

Beautiful Coastline

At the DeYoung Museum of Art

Upside Down Jellyfish

Kelly at the "The Crab House"

Eating crab took a lot of concentration

Neat Alcatraz shot

Artistic shot of the trip

Alcatraz

The Maltese Falcon (Largest sailboat in the world)

Tree vs Kelly and Mom

Stairway to Nowhere at the Winchester House of Mystery

Reporting from a couch with a new couch cover.
Chad

Wow....

2008-10-26T23:01:00.000-07:00

Before I start this post I would like to point out that I am working on a entry about my trip to San Francisco. It should be up tomorrow. So until then I hope this small, exciting story about love, loss, breaking and entering will appease you readers.

It happened on a mild Sunday evening. The air was crisp but not cold and the calming sound of crickets chirping could be heard in the distance. I was in my apartment finishing a phone call with a friend, discussing the details on the upcoming halo night that was planned. I hung up, skipped merrily to the door, and down my apartment stairs, making my way to my car and eventually my beloved Halo night. I unlocked my car door and started my motor.

Then something caught my eye.

My car's center console sported a gaping, black hole. The hole was conveniently placed where my radio was. It took me a minute to release what was going on and only after a quick glance at my passenger door I realized I was Provo's most recent crime victim. Someone stole my radio!

Lame as the situation is, I am not angry or mad. Slightly irritated, yes, however, I think the whole situation is kinda funny. So haha, joke is on you Mr. Robber. I don't care. Enjoy your radio. It will give you cancer.

Screw thieves,
Chad

Girls- don't read this. Seriously.

2008-10-13T11:39:00.000-07:00

Nearly three weeks ago, September 25th marked the first anniversary of Bungie/Microsoft's masterpiece, Halo 3. Because Bungie has become a master at efficient viral marketing thus causing people to become excited over literally the slightest hint at a new game, I was super excited about Halo 3 years before the game was released. Just like the Guster concert I went to last year, after Halo was released I felt I had little to look forward to for a while. All of the excitement generated in anticipation plateaued and disappeared at the arrival of the game.

But alas, Bungie has saved the day yet again. While on the internet I found three words that sparked my geeky excitement again: Halo 3 Recon. While it isn't much (something that Bungie obviously knows how to work with) I am genuinely excited and hope that you will be too:

Reporting from a really, really cold bedroom,
Chad

P.S. I know this came out about two weeks ago. I didn't really think to write anything on it until this afternoon.

Odd, Short Note on Women

2008-10-12T22:19:00.000-07:00

Here is something that is happening while I am typing this:
A girl in my apartment just said "I am not a fan of Drama. I hate it and I never make any." I laughed to myself and thought that every girl I have ever met in my life says the exact same thing. It's funny though because while they cannot stand it most produce a big amount of it. I also think that there is a direct connection between the number of times/the forcefulness of how much girls say they hate drama to the amount of drama they produce. The more they "hate" it, the more they need it.

I do apologize for the terrible writing in this post. I am trying to organize my thoughts and write this while maintaining a conversation with everyone in the room

Chad

Top 20 Things I Miss Most About Being A Kid

2008-10-08T19:22:00.001-07:00

As the title suggests there are many things that I miss about being a young kid. Now that I am getting older I find the phrase "you don't know what you have until its gone" is especially applicable as I find many of the things listed hold different meanings or don't exist anymore. I have actually given a lot of thought to what the top twenty are:

Christmas
Johnny Quest
Field Days
Start of Summer Vacation
New Micro Machines
Thinking Nothing Would Ever Top the Super Nintendo
Sick Days When Your Mom Would Cook You Soup
Night Games
Family Reunions
Not Having to Pay For Anything
Bowl Cuts
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Always Being Outside
The NOW 1 Cassette Tape
Cassette Tapes
Thinking 10 PM Was Late
Agreeing 100% With Your Parents On Everything (Unless you were getting in trouble)
Legos
Snow Days
Riding In the Back of the Bus/Bus Rides in General

Reporting in between homework,
Chad

Digg Sucks Now

2008-10-05T21:35:00.000-07:00

This post isn't going to be a piece of writing that I will revise, fix, and straighten out to transform it into something that I could turn into my Comm 3600 teacher and get an A+ on. Instead I am simply going to write an unedited, bias post about my growing disappointment in the website Digg.com.

Quite simply, Digg used to rock. So much in fact that much of my free, pre-Facebook "Internet Browsing" time was spent on the site trying to find stories that interested me or submit witty comments that would be rated by fellow diggers.

I started visiting Digg on a regular basis nearly 3 years ago, back when the website was based around technological stories and developments. The website slowly evolved to include prominent news events, various images, and politics. In the last year, however, Digg has made a rapid change from the roots of what the website was founded on to a bias, one-sided democratic war machine that spits out PR and spin from left wing hell. I can't remember the last time I have logged on and seen a "top news stories" list that hasn't included a title saying "McCain lies about Iraq", "Obama give awesome speech on change", or "Palin is a crack whore who just wants to bare McCain's child".

I am so very sick of anything having to do with radical, irrational. left-wing liberalism on Digg that my visiting has slimmed down significantly, logging on only to find the new episode of Zero Punctuation and hoping to see a hilarious LOLCat. Digg me down if you must, but, for the love of everyone who isn't an Obama fanatic, stop flooding my Top Story section with pointless, repetitive, bias, liberal PR pieces of &@#% stories.

Love,
Chad (paintballing66)

If you thought last night's "Office" was good then don't read this.

2008-09-26T12:24:00.000-07:00

The highly anticipated season premiere of the hit NBC show "The Office" made it's glorious debut last night only to leave most viewers less than satisfied, myself included. I will keep this short and simply list the things that I did not like:

First and foremost, the Jim and Pam plot is wearing thin. I am happy to see he proposed but it's about damn time! You can only rely on a sub story like that for so long and the writers have milked this one for all its worth (literally the entire second and third seasons were based on it).
The jokes and punchlines were sub-par. A good example is when the new HR lady, Holly, and Michael do some stupid rap in the warehouse. The joke had nothing to do with the story and lacked any substance that made me laugh. Keep in mind that is one example picked out of a whole stew full of them.
There were so many plots to follow I can't keep track of them. Jan and the baby, the new secretary, the newer new secretary, a weight loss competition, Kelly's diet, Jim and Pam, Pam in art school, Michael and Holly, Dwight and Angela, Angela and Andy-the list can go on for a while more but I think you get the point.
"Dear Writers. When you get rid of a character by sending them to Puerto Rico or put them in jail for fraud, please, please, for everyone's sake, LEAVE THEM THERE! I don't wanna watch some documentary about Toby in the hospital that has nothing to do with anything in Scranton or watch Ryan climb his way to the top again (plus he is just a douche so please make him go away). Love, Chad"

I remember the first two seasons of "The Office". Every episode was genuinely hilarious. It was so successful because the show, back then, didn't rely entirely on love interest sub-plots or exploiting the flaws of new characters and how they are getting along with the staff. Old episodes had a unique story that began and ended in the allotted half an hour and that's what made them so great. I am not saying the new episode was a complete flop but I doubt we will see the day where current episodes will compare with classics like "The Injury" and "Dwight's Speech".

Reporting rather disgruntled,
Chad Waite

P.S. If that guy Pam was flirting around with at Art School causes relationship problems between her and Jim I will quit watching the office.

The LHC, baby you know me!

2008-09-19T23:26:00.000-07:00

Greetings!

On the 10th of September, 2008, several people were convinced that the world would end at the hands of a science experiment gone wrong. Being that it is the 20th of September, obviously Earth did not fall down the vortex of a microscopic black hole or implode in on itself. The science experiment- a massive machine lying in an underground tunnel on the French-Swiss border- is arguably the most ambitious and complex machine, let alone science project, in the history of human kind.

The project is called the Large Hadron Collider or LHC for short and because several other colliders exist already, you may have heard of a particle collider before. The LHC, however, is much different from any other collider due to several truly staggering statistics:

The machine is housed in an underground tunnel with a depth ranging anywhere from 150-400 feet with a circumference of 17 miles!
The construction took well over a decade using components from super advanced electronic measuring devices and cameras to the installation of over 1600 bus sized superconductor "quadrapole" magnets.
A coalition of over 33 countries including the U.S., contributing man power, various expertise, and above all money.
The price tag? (get ready for this) 11 billion U.S. dollars, including $531 million invested from the U.S. itself

You may now be asking yourself, "What does this $11 billion machine do?" A particle collider's (also referred to as particle accelerators) purpose is simply what the name suggests- to collide particles. I will not try to go into technical details as I haven't the slightest knowledge about anything more than he basics (and if I try to cite the mathematics and the science that goes into building and operating one of these things my head really hurts). In LHC's case, the machine's purpose is to recreate the first (and I am not making this up) one one-thousandth of a billionth of a second after the big bang.

Obviously this isn't your standard question, easy answer routine. How do scientists go about finding ways to recreate the big bang and how does the LHC achieve that? The question is answered by looking as several processes the LHC goes through when powered up. First, scientist shoot many, many protons acquired from helium molecules through several complexes of small rings to get the protons speed nearly equal to that of the speed of light. After that, the protons are then transferred over the the main ring (keep in mind that this ring is 17 miles around) and shot around at 99.97% of the speed of light. With some simple math applied, this speed means that the proton particles are making over 11,000 rotations each second! To achieve a particle collision another beam of particles is shot in the opposite direction. Both beams cross paths and collide at controlled and highly monitored intersections. For this experiment to work correctly the entire ring must be super cooled to a temperature very near absolute zero (in simple terms about -450.00 degrees F).

The September 10th test shot only one beam of protons in one direction to test the LHC and its components. The first schedule collision test is set for the 21st of October.

What will we find? No one can say for sure. Scientist largely speculate that an elusive particle called the Higgs Boson- a temporary particle that gives matter mass, will be seen for the first time. Other predictions on what the LHC will find range from microscopic black holes that will suck up the earth to finding theoretical dark matter. And what if we don't find anything? Scientist working on the project say that would be more fascinating then anything we could find. Guess we will just have to wait and see.

Reporting from the French-Swiss border
Chad Waite

P.S. For any further information I highly recommend going to wikipedia and searching for LHC

Absent + Picture for Brooks

2008-09-19T09:25:00.000-07:00

Greetings loyal readers! I do apologize about this two week hiatus I have been on. School has left me SO busy that I have little time to write an efficient, informative blog and to do anything less than that would be a crime. I have a large test that I must take today but afterwords I will write a wonderful blog on a topic that has been strewing about in my mind. The smooth some of your ruffled feathers (aka Brooks) I am posting up a picture that will have no relevance except to a few, select people who will appreciate this with the utmost respect.

Reporting from a desk full of papers for his law class,
Chad Waite

P.S. I really will have a new, fun, and best of all interesting post tomorrow.

Leave Comments

2008-08-31T17:22:00.000-07:00

The title is pretty self explanatory. More comments = better success in life. So my success in life is directly in your hands by leaving comments.
Luff,
Chad

Healthy Photo Goodness

2008-08-31T16:56:00.000-07:00

I have learned that a blog without pictures is like a boat without an oar- it is really boring. And so I bring you what I, Chad Waite, consider my best photography in a blog filled with color, excitement, and perhaps a few tears. 25 pictures, hand-picked by myself, were given the title of "Honorary Nominees". Afterwords, Mr. M. E. Showalter, with the utmost care and delicacy, picked the final 10 winners that you will see here. Without further adieu, I present the Gallery DeWaite:

Reporting from a new apartment in Provo,
Chad

Just In! Lone Peak Totally Burned Down!

2008-08-25T22:44:00.001-07:00

Unless you have no sense of sight or smell then the fire that started near Corner Canyon that eventually consumed a large portion of Lone Peak is nothing short of old news. The blaze was witnessed by nearly every resident of Sandy, Draper, and probably the whole of Salt Lake County, filling our sky with smoke and adding to our already bad air quality. When fires strike I have mixed emotions regarding the situation. On one hand (and especially in this case) it is an utter shame to watch such a pretty spectacle of nature get destroyed so quickly. Fire can change even the lushest of green and brown landscapes into a smokey, burnt, and black travesty, and such is the case at the base of Lone Peak. What was a beautiful Wasatch mountain yesterday now looks like a scene near Mt. Doom from The Lord of the Rings today.

On the other hand, however, large wildfires are very intriguing. Even though they represent an element of destruction, I find that there is also a touch of grace and a beauty in the smoke and red flames. This is especially applicable at night, when the flames are most visible. I remember during last year's fourth of July someone had started a fire of considerable size on the North-Western face of Lone Peak. I was surprised to find that many, many people had lined to streets or secured a spot on their rooftops to watch the fire continue it's course, treating the blaze more as a peaceful spectacle than a threat.

For me it is also a chance to witness the scope of human ingenuity and organization. Along with a severe enough fire comes an armada of technology as a remedy. Fire fighters, fire trucks, helicopters, spotter plans, and large retardant tankers are just a few among the many tricks up societies sleeve to battle infernos like today's.

Reporting, strangely enough, from his comfortable bed in Sandy,
Chad

P.S. I wish I could take credit for these incredibly applicable pictures, but alas, I got them off of KSL. So if you are the taker of these photos and want credit or compensation please contact me and I will give you $2.50 or something agreeable.

Ryan's Music

2008-08-17T21:55:00.000-07:00

It has always been funny to note how people deal with pressure and stress in different situations. To deal with what I have aptly named "the summer from hell", my brother, Ryan, turned to his acoustic guitar and produced astounding results.

Before early April, Ryan had a limited knowledge of guitar, knowing only how to play essential chords and basic strums. After four months of summer he has made a transformation that is on par with coal and diamonds. When playing now, Ryan can produce some of the most complex and beautiful tunes on the guitar with loads of different strumming and picking patterns all rolled up into one. It is quite amazing to not only hear him play but watch him play. His level of concentration is unparalleled but at the same time he plays with an odd sense of relaxation which in turn shows his true passion for the guitar he plays.

On Thursday (14th) I helped Ryan record his first album featuring 8 original songs and 1 cover by the Early November. All of the tracks (with the exception of the first song "May Surprise You") were recorded live and are completely unedited- Ryan had one shot to do it right and he hit the bullseye. I have taken the liberty of setting up a myspace music and youtube account so anyone can listen to his new album entitled "Chad's Brother" (We ended up with that name after being forced to enter in a temporary album title when recording. Afterwords we forgot to change it back to something not as odd). All nine songs are availble to listen too and to download free of charge by going to the following locations:

www.myspace.com/ryanwaitemusic

or

www.youtube.com/ryanwaitemusic

Chad

Side note- Both these pictures were taken of Ryan while recording.

Quick Lake Powell Summary Awesomeness (Now with Pictures!)

2008-08-09T23:18:00.000-07:00

For the last week I have been at (and in) Lake Powell for the first time in my life. I didn't know quite what to expect although I have heard so many good things about the lake that my expectations were considerably high. I spent the week laying out in the sun and jumping into the water from a very nice houseboat with a group of friends and Allie Robinson's family, who the houseboat belonged too. Their generosity was obvious when I was informed that not only would I be invited to come on this trip but that I would not have to pay a dime for any essentials like food and fuel. Knowing me that was the best combo I could have ever asked for- fun and free.

I had a blast just kicking around in the water, riding the jet-skis faster than my car can go, and even getting up for the first time on a wakeboard. I look back on the trip and think what a wonderful, relaxing time I had and how Lake Powell withdrawals are already setting in after a mere two days. I also think that my first experience at Powell has set the bar way, way high for me. So much in fact that I don't think any trip will ever compare.
Reporting much tanner than before,

Chad

Here are just a sliver of the pictures I took:

The Kavorka

2008-07-23T22:25:00.000-07:00

To people who have not had the privilege of familiarizing themselves with Seinfeld, the best sitcom of all time, words and phrases like "salsa" and "no soup for you" will be of no consequence to them. Not only are they missing out on a great and timeless show but they are also missing out on some important facts in life that are vital to human understand of the world around them. One such fact is the existence of an oddity called the Kavorka. Roughly translated the Kavorka means the lure of the animal and in the episode of Seinfeld where the Kavorka makes its debut Kramer is said to contain the Kavorka thus attracting members of the opposite sex.

Now as ridiculous as possessing an odd power that, with out any effort, will automatically attract any member of the opposite sex sounds, there are some people who do have this gift. While running across a Kavorka endowed person isn't common (almost, dare I say, rare) these people are real and do exist. A perfect example is a close friend I have named Sherdian (I am not going to use his real name out of risk of embarresment). Sherdian has the unique ability to attract and woo any girl he comes across instantaneously without so much as blinking, much less trying for any attention or recognition. It is a dangerous power that I am sure he has not yet recognized nor mastered. Even now it has gotten him into a few sticky situations with some odd girls.

From a third party perspective it is funny to see how girls are helpless before Sherdian's power. Moments after meeting him they will throw their number at him or ask him out on a date- literally moments. No superstar looks, player personality or expensive cars- just the Kavorka. And ah, what a life it must be, especially from the view of anti-kavorkas such as myself and many many others (most can be found here- www.eharmony.com).

Chad

Big, Stupid, Flashy Weddings

2008-07-18T17:15:00.001-07:00

In the past weddings have always been events of no consequence too me, largely due to the fact that most of the people I knew that were getting married were distant second cousins or annoying neighbors that I didn't care much about. This mindset has stuck with me up until the past little while when many of my friends and family members have started getting hitched. Weddings have now become a melting pot of mixed emotions for me. On one hand it is very exciting to see these people continue on with the next big stage of their lives, however, on the other hand it sucks to lose friends to the vicious jaws of marriage. After a quick volley of about five weddings in the last two months I have drawn up a conclusion about weddings that I can quickly sum up in five words- big, stupid, flashy weddings suck.

I am a frugal person and spending money is not something that is embedded in my genetics. As such, a wedding that consist of dinners, receptions, and photographers that cost a combine total of exactly 12 times the price of my car is something that has never appealed to me. I do not want to marry a girl who has to have such a flattering event. In my mind the best reception would be in my backyard with my dad cooking up burgers on the grill. Casual setting, relaxed atmosphere, no pressure to act classy and dignified in an overpriced tux, and it doesn't cost my life savings plus half my soul.

Now if you are a friend or family member who has had a large wedding with a nice reception don't take this post the wrong way. If one can afford a nice, lavish wedding I have no problem with taking advantage of that situation. My problem lies in the attitude of some girls (or guys...but mostly girls) who insist on starting off their married lives by spending more on one day then they will make the following year. To me this is a truly terrifying thought and shows how vain some people can be.

My last point also lies in the fact that most people at these weddings aren't having too much fun for the money they have spent. I know the bride and the groom, along with both sets of parent, must stand in line for hours making small talk while they watch people (aka me) chow down on the delicious food and deserts in front of them. All participants are required to act a certain way and show a degree of class and grace that they usually don't posses anyways (example- me). And finally, by the time the expensive day is over and everything is winding down, there still is only one thing on the grooms mind and I can guarantee its not if his shoes are still shiny or polished or if there are enough lemons in the chilled water (this one will be me for sure).

To sum these four rant-like paragraphs up quick, I don't like big, stupid, flashy weddings. They almost feel like a competition among people to see who can have the biggest and best (not to mention the most expensive) day and I think once a person insists that their wedding be coupled with words like big, classy and flashy, the overall point of the marriage is a bit lost in a commericalized and competative haze.

From a man who, after writing this, will probably be a bachelor his who life,

Chad

2008-07-08T23:40:00.000-07:00

For anyone close to me or my family it is no secret that my family is going through some really tough times. I find it interesting that when times are bad I try to do anything and everything to keep my mind a bit distracted from the reality of the situation at hand. As such, I have found a new love for three things:

1. Tennis
2. Halo
3. Long scooter rides

It is neat that one can find a new appreciation in such times for something that otherwise would seemed normal or routine. On the flip side, however, it makes me analyze a lot of what "makes up" my life including biggies like religion and profession choices and even small things like what time I should wake up or my driving habits. I even look at people different, trying not to judge to harshly if I find something disagreeable with them or not to trust someone immediately if I find them friendly and agreeable.

As you have probably guessed this blog post doesn't really have a specific, underlying theme. I guess you could sum it up by saying that big events can alter anyone's outlook on their life, either for good or bad. I think it is important to look at the big picture rather than analyzing only the moment you are in. I am hoping that after this particular situation is resolved I can look back on it and feel that I have come out on top.

Chad

An urgent CCTV message

2008-06-26T19:37:00.000-07:00

This will be a short, yet informative entry. For those of you who do not know I have a small side project in my world of blogging filming scooter reviews. Yes, that's right, Chad is almost at Top Gear status in the world of scooter shows....and yes I do have the only scooter show. But that's besides the point.

My show can be viewed on YouTube, or for those who don't know what that is, www.youtube.com. My profile name is CubicCentimeterTV and I only have three videos up at the moment. But if your bored and have nothing else to do, I would highly recommend checking them out.

Thanks for this moment of self indulgence,

Chad.

P.S. Here is a link to my "introduction video"- http://youtube.com/watch?v=wmUYse4EuGg

YouTube Prosac

2008-06-18T09:44:00.000-07:00

This morning I was thinking what a big, black gap would enter in my life if the internet were to somehow cease to exist. Part of my morning, night, and in-between routine involves a computer and a pet fox (nerd joke) and it would drastically change my daily life if such an event were to occur. In fact, there are aspects of the internet that I completely rely on and without it I wouldn't know what to do. Currently I am checking Google Maps to figure out where my next window washing appointment is and how to get there. I check my bank account on a daily basis to manage my finances. And when I couldn't fall asleep last night I turned on some soothing Bob Ross on YouTube and slowly drifted of learning about a happy little tree's friend and how many shades of magenta there really are.

For me though, the internet really becomes valuable when you find anything that greatly appeals or satisfies your interests or, in this case, installs a new interest in you. I am of course referring to my new found British love, Top Gear. For those of you who aren't familiar with Top Gear let me sum it up for you in four very short, descriptive sentences:

1. British car/racing show
2. British hosts that are witty, sharp, spontaneous, and white teethed
3. British humor
4. Free/ illegally uploaded on YouTube.....British

When I first saw Top Gear I wasn't exactly "hooked". In fact most don't watch Top Gear for the content in the show but rather for the character and charm of the series three hosts; Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond, and James May. And because learning the characteristics behind each host isn't instantaneous, Top Gear becomes harder to truly appreciate at first. Whenever I have had a bad day or just need a hardy laugh I can usually remedy the situation by watching almost any Top Gear clip on YouTube.

At the end of this post I will attach a link to a great clip of Jeremy Clackson reviewing an Ariel Atom. While this isn't the funniest of episodes it does give a first time viewer a good feel for what the show offers. Keep watching and soon you will be able to laugh along at the small things like jokes about Richard Hammond's height or how many times Top Gear's tame racing driver, The Stig, has seen the Lion King. Most important, however, is to keep in mind that Top Gear isn't your everyday slice of chocolate cake with sprinkles. The producers do a lot to mix the series up and keep episodes fresh and attention grabbing. Whether your board, sad, or haven't had a healthy dose of dry humor in your life lately, Top Gear can help with those and more! A good rule of thumb to use when decideding if Top Gear can work for you is to say out loud the following formula:

"Man, I am ___(insert mood/situation here)___ today. I should watch some Top Gear."

Now if the word you insert completes the sentence Top Gear is your remedy.

Reporting from the green zone in Provo, Utah,
Chad Waite

****Here is your link BTW: http://youtube.com/watch?v=WaWoo82zNUA ********

Gas Issues

2008-06-04T14:30:00.000-07:00

Ah yes. The power of petrol. Anyone who owns a car or anything that runs off of petrol will tell you that skyrocketing gasoline prices have caused a damper on its use. Currently I drive a 92 Ford Escort powered by a massive 1.9 liter, 4 cylinder engine and because of this my miles per gallon should hover around the 26 mark. While thats a mere sip compared to some vehicles that drink more than Lindsey Lohan, I have lately been practicing some tricks that have raised my average MPG from 26 to a lofty 30. Now to some people an extra 4 miles doesn't seem too impressive, however, when applied to a simple math equation, it shows that I will generally suck an extra forty miles out of my ten gallon tank before my car needs refueled.

Here are just a few tricks that I have learned to squeeze every mile out of every gallon:

1. The first rule is probably the most simple. Don't drive if you don't have too. It takes a lot of fuel for a car to start up and for the engine to get into it's warm comfy state. Walk, ride a bike, or hitchhike to the McDonalds down the street if you must but avoid driving your car if at all possible. It is these small trips that will drain your tank faster than Lindsey Lohan can drain a Jack Da....wait- whoops, already went there. Now while I know that doesn't really apply to increasing mileage while driving, it is still a good rule to live by if gas prices are draining your wallet.

2. Number two is, without a doubt, the most effective way to up those MPGs. When cruising down a road or the highway try not to drive your Taurus or Accord like a Ferrari. Drive the speed limit. One may ask why? Well it is simple physics, of which I understand nothing. The faster you drive the more the pistons in your engine go around. And the more times your pistons go around the more gas you use.

3. Now number three deals with a problem that I had. Picture sitting at a stoplight for a whole painstaking minute and finally having the red go green. Most people put the pedal to the medal and gun the car just as fast as it will go until you reach the next stoplight 400 feet away. Rinse, lather, and repeat for terrible gas mileage. So one can now gather that you can save loads of fuel by not taking off like a jackrabbit at every stoplight.

4. And finally use cruise control. It allows for a consistent flow of fuel rather than a roller coaster ride with Mr. Rightfoot and Mrs. Petrolpedal.

Now these are obviously simple steps, but they do produce results. So if better gas mileage is of interest to anyone I encourage you give these a try.
Reporting from our Raintree studio,

Chad Waite

P.S. For even better MPG you may check out websites devoted to better fuel economy. Or buy one of these:

Goblin Valley and Friends!

2008-05-28T22:40:00.000-07:00

For a long while what I have considered to be my personal heaven was a large national park in Southern Utah know as Canyonlands. It's breathtaking scenery and photogenic landscapes have always held an addicting appeal to me. However, this Memorial Day weekend I took a short trip to Goblin Valley and the outskirts of the neighboring San Rafael Swell. While being a San Rafael Swell veteran, I had never actually been to Goblin Valley before and was very surprised to find what the park had to offer.

Like many national parks in Southern Utah, Goblin Valley shares similar traits like an abundant absence of water and a strong lack of life, both plant and animal. However, the thing that sets Goblin Valley apart is it's unique simplicity. Three components make up the parks composition: Sandstone, sand, and hardened mud. There are no shear rock walls to be seen, deep canyons carved out by rivers, or minor vegetation to liven up the landscape- all characteristics of surrounding places.

Our group consisted of my dad, Ryan, and myself meeting up with Samantha Waite's entire family. For the most part our three day trip consisted of staying in or near the park. Everyone spent a lot of time climbing on the "goblins" scrambling up the rock formations while I spent much of my time putting my new camera to good use. Clint eventually came up with a game that involved one person running and then jumping off of a "goblin" and trying to catch a frisbee in the air and that, needless to say, held everyones attention for a while.

Not far from Goblin Valley is Little Wildhorse Canyon, perhaps the most stunning slot canyon in Utah. Stunning is an understatement when trying to describe the most narrow sections of the canyon and the highlight of every trip to Little Wildhorse is the part when one group must inevitably shimmy up the narrow canyon walls to let another group pass underneath. Generally I dislike high traffic hikes and outdoor hotspots but somehow this canyon still retains it's secluded feeling despite the constant flow of tourism.

Every now and then we would run across a small patch of concentrated vegetation which stuck out like a sore thumb. It was these little areas that proved to be the most rewarding parts of the trip and photogenic Christmas for someone with a camera.

I really enjoy little weekend getaways to Southern Utah and it is always very interesting to visit a crazy new place like Goblin Valley. The land has a very familiar tone to it but also radically different at the same time.

Chad

P.S. If this post sounded scattered and unorganized, well... it was. I started writing it late last night in a fashion that English professors would be proud of but then I fell asleep. Today I decided to finish it and didn't care to maintain a "professional" writing tone about it.