Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Save Rock Canyon!

About two weeks ago when hiking Squaw Peak, I saw a sign near the entrance to Rock Canyon saying that a mining baron was targeting the popular recreation area. I didn't think much of it and brushed off the calls to rally against one Richard Davis and his plans to change the area from a rock climbing and hiking haven to a rock-extracting quarry.

But after an article in today's paper, I found that the problem is as serious as it first sounded. Apparently Mr. Richard "Dick" Davis owns 75% of the land that is the entrance to Rock Canyon. He also owns a mining company and plans to expand operations around the mouth of the canyon.

Now I am a very frequent visitor of Rock Canyon and I think it would be a shame to loose such a wonderful natural resource. I also understand that Davis does have rights as a land owner. But his attitude towards the situation is one of compromise and a total lack of understanding- a "my way or the highway" sorta view. In fact, in the Deseret News article, he was quoted saying, "If you want it [the land] to be yours, make it yours. Don't ask me to donate it."

Sure, from a business perspective that quote makes total sense. But what Davis isn't taking into account is the joy, activity, and lifestyle that Rock Canyon plays in the lives of so many- many more lives than the effects of mining would have on himself and a few shareholders. I mean, without rock canyon look at the stunning increase in chaos and hoodlumism that would engulf Utah County*:
So what can we do to save Rock Canyon and stop the upcoming surge of baby crack addicts and abortions? There are several ways to accomplish this:
  • Write a letter to Provo city telling them not to grant Davis a mining permit.
  • Join activist protests at the mouth of the canyon.
  • Chain yourself to the rock they will mine.
  • Write a crappy blog about the situation.
So there are four ways to take action Jackson against the evil Davis empire. And remember- any action is better than no action, and taking no action started the Swine Flu. In the end, pleeeeeeeeeeease Mr. Richard "Dickels" Davis, please, do not shut down Rock Canyon for your own fiscal advantage. Maybe this will offer some soft inspiration.

-- Chad Waite, Daily Derbi

* Research was conducted by Chad Waite. Results were taken from a total participation of one person. According to the poll, 100% of all participants said that if Rock Canyon closed down, they would resort to more drugs and abortions.

4 comments:

Tyson Call said...

But what are we going to do without the rocks they take out of the canyon to make Post Fruity Pebbles Cereal? I practically live off of those...

Britton said...

For the record, the only reason I said I would use more drugs was because I have a lack of self control.

And as for the comment about abortions, I don't know what they are and I've never had one. But I told Chad I'd be willing to try. Which means that abortions will go up.

PS awesome post

Ryan said...

My only complaint is, once he starts mining, what will the canyon be called? Just "canyon"? I mean wtf

Barry said...

The most hilarious (and absurd) part of the entire Rock Canyon mining fiasco was when somebody referred to it as "Utah's Yosemite." HA!

Don't get me wrong - I'm all for saving the canyon from mining, but "Utah's Yosemite" it is NOT!

I can't remember where I read that. I wanna find it again and laugh in the face of the author.